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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25903786">the stars that gazed back</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/moresapphicbookspls/pseuds/moresapphicbookspls'>moresapphicbookspls</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Modern AU, Mutual Pining, Romance, Slow Burn, They are oblivious, also it’s a modern au so they don’t have magic, and that’s hopefully angsty enough, but it doesn’t make any sense, but it like literally has no effect on the story, but it’s Cute, but the plot isn’t what’s important, but there is a plot, did i steal a lot of this straight from the book?, enjoy the pining oblivious idiots, i had no idea where this was going for the first 7 chapters before i outlined it, i just wrote the fic I wanted to read, im too lazy to fix it, its like qos if it was basically just romance and no plot, pls enjoy, rowaelin, so just ignore it, so much pining, so they might not make sense, the pining is, there are so many plot holes and inconsistencies, yes yes i did</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:42:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>35,233</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25903786</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/moresapphicbookspls/pseuds/moresapphicbookspls</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>rowan and aelin became best friends during her visit to her aunt, maeve, in doranelle city. now she's back in rifthold with her cousin aedion, a whole continent away. When he joins her with a warning of coming danger, aelin has to face her growing feelings for him. basically a modern au romance heavy version of queen of shadows.</p><p>***disclaimer<br/>i do not support sjm. she had a lot of diversity issues in her books. but i enjoyed reading them and was rlly obsessed with them over the summer and they were sorta an escape during covid. so i wrote this. enjoy</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aelin Ashryver Galathynius | Celaena Sardothien &amp; Rowan Whitethorn, Aelin Ashryver Galathynius | Celaena Sardothien/Rowan Whitethorn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>74</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>81</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>takes place during queen of shadows but in a modern world. the cities and stuff are different (like there isn't an nyc but there is rifthold and stuff) but there is technology and no magic. i’m going to use some quotes from the actual book. also a lot of the events are in the wrong order.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Aelin sighed and plopped down on the couch, propping her feet up on her cousin's lap. She was exhausted. It had been a long day consisting of taking trips to the bank and scouting out the police patrols. Her limbs felt like they would fall off at any minute and she struggled to keep her eyes from drooping.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aedion opened his mouth to say something, but she cut him off before he could start yelling. "Would you look at this, I'm alive and unharmed," she said, hoping to prevent a screaming match.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You said two hours-- you were gone for four," he said, worry written plainly across his face. She sighed, guilty for making him stressed, but she had things to do-- things that only </span>
  <em>
    <span>she </span>
  </em>
  <span>could do, especially since there was no way she was going to put him in danger. She told him as much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You swore there wasn't any danger," he replied, brows creasing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath. She was too tired for this. "Do I look like an oracle? There is always danger-- always," She tried explaining to him, to no avail.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After he was thoroughly guilted and scolded, Aedion started examining her scarred palm. He ran a gentle finger over the mark showing her vow to Nehemia-- it still hurt to think about her. He continued tracing the scars, moving on to the cut she'd made with Rowan when she declared him her friend while drunk at that party</span>
  <em>
    <span>. </span>
  </em>
  <b>(A/N- I know that's weird but I needed something in place of carranam since there's no magic.) </b>
  <span>She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to distract herself from the heartache. She missed him. So gods-damned much. Her heart ached, as though there was some tangible bond between them, stretched taut by the distance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's hard not to think all of your scars are my fault," Aedion said, his voice little more than a whisper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin's eyes snapped open. She twisted to look at Aedion, her breath catching at the sorrow and vulnerability etched across his face. She took a second to compose herself before putting a taunting smirk on. "Aed, please. Half of these scars I rightly deserved," she said, feigning confidence, turning her arm around to reveal a small scar lining the inside of her arm. "See that one? A man in a tavern sliced me open with a bottle after I cheated him in a round of cards and tried to steal his money."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aedion snorted and Aelin scowled at him. He just laughed even more. They went on trading scar stories deep into the night, laughing and forgetting all their problems, even if just for the evening. Eventually, Aelin retired to her bedroom and flopped onto her bed, promptly falling asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin woke up to the sun streaming into her room, blinding her momentarily. In her sleepy haze, she found herself smiling and reaching across the bed lazily, feeling for the familiar warmth of her best friend, only to find the cold comforter, bare of the strong fierce man she had grown attached to. Her mood plummeted as she remembered-- he wasn't here. He was a whole continent away. She groaned and dragged herself out of bed, forcing herself to move. She had things to do, places to be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuffling out of her bedroom, Aelin heard a separate set of footsteps, treading too lightly to belong to Aedion. She froze and pulled out her dagger. She crept into the kitchen brandishing her knife, prepared to pounce on the trespasser, only to find Lysandra ruffling through the pantry. Aelin loosed a breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What are you doing here?" She jumped up, turning towards Aelin, wearing a sheepish expression.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ummm, nothing..." she said, looking pointedly anywhere but at Aelin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin gave her a stern look and she threw her hands up in defeat. "I- I just needed to get out of the Assassins’ Keep." She buried her head in her hands. "I needed to get away from Arobynn."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin's heart broke a bit at Lysandra’s words and she ran to wrap her arms around her. "It's okay, Lys," she comforted. "Just call to give me a heads up next time, okay?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lysandra nodded her head and whispered, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be bothering you with my problems, you have enough on your plate as it is, what with Chaol being an ass and your deal with Arobynn."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin pushed her away and looked into Lysandra's eyes, shaking her head vigorously. "No. You should always come here. Never hide your problems, we are here for you." Lysandra looked down bashfully and Aelin tilted her head back up, sliding her hand underneath the girl’s chin. "You know my offer still stands. Say the word, and Clarisse is dead."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lysandra nodded, but quietly said, " Not yet."</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Aelin still couldn't believe Aedion was next to her. Her cousin. Her childhood best friend. She hadn't dared hope she would see him again. Not until she told Rowan about him, and even then, it was mainly to mourn the loss. Aelin wrapped an arm around him, needing to feel him, to know for certain that he was real. He winced as they walked, and Aelin's smile fell. It pained her to know he was hurting, and there was nothing she could do about it. She knew he hated being stuck in the apartment, being trapped inside, but he needed to stay safe. To lose him again… she wouldn’t be able to bear it... So, until he healed, she would be keeping a close eye on him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After Aelin finished inspecting Aedion's wounds (against his protests), he brought up the one thing she didn't want to think about. The one thing she was always thinking about. Rowan. Or, "Rowan Fucking Whitethorn" as Aedion preferred to put it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The Rowan Whitethorn, You keep needling me for details about </span>
  <em>
    <span>Rowan Whitethorn</span>
  </em>
  <span>--" Aelin rolled her eyes, confused by Aedion's high regard for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You befriended one of the greatest hackers in history-- perhaps the greatest hacker alive. Your father, and his men, all told me stories about Rowan Fucking Whitethorn."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin's eyes went wide. That couldn't be. Sure, Rowan was extremely powerful. But he was Rowan. The annoying pain in her ass, her loyal best friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aedion smirked. "Our employees in the North still talk about him, Ace"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin shook her head adamantly. "Rowan's never been to this continent." Her heart panged with this reminder. He was a whole continent away. And she wouldn't see him. Not until she finished what she needed to do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Rowan Whitethorn is a legend. And so is his-- what do you call them?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Cadre," Aelin muttered, her good mood decimated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The six of them...We used to tell stories about them around fires. Their achievements."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin sighed and rubbed her temple. "Please, </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span> don't ever tell him that. I'll never hear the end of it, and he'll use it in every argument we have." </span>
  <em>
    <span>Whenever we actually are close enough to argue.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Aelin walked into her apartment after a long day, only to find a restless Aedion pacing back and forth, hard enough to make an indent on the floor. She let out a long-suffering sigh. "All right, all right. I'd rather have you wreck yourself than destroy my furniture from boredom. You're worse than a dog." she complained, wincing at the thought of having to make another trip to IKEA-- she had almost entirely re-decorated the apartment after returning from Doranelle. Ren and Murtaugh had practically destroyed the place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aedion flashed her a cheeky grin. "I aim to impress."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin massaged her temples in an infuriating combination of frustration and annoyance. "Grab your stuff."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They dressed in casual, inconspicuous outfits-- Aedion sported washed-out jeans and an old band t-shirt while Aelin wore black leggings paired with a  green and silver cropped tank. They covered up in baggy sweatshirts, hiding their faces in the shadows of their hoods. On the way out the door, they slipped daggers into their pockets. </span>
  <b>(In this fic there are no guns because I just feel like that would make a bunch of stuff a lot easier than it should be.)</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon after leaving the apartment, Aelin caught sight of a familiar female's silhouette approaching them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's Nesryn. Relax," she said, signaling for Aedion to put the weapon he had drawn away. She noticed him try and mask his wince of pain, but couldn't do anything to help him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nesryn waved in greeting. She was dressed similarly to them, drowning in a giant blue sweatshirt, her face entirely concealed by the hood.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin sauntered gracefully down the sidewalk towards Nesryn. "Is something wrong?" Panic flared in Aelin’s chest, but she hid it well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nesryn looked away from Aedion and turned towards Aelin. A wave of uneasiness washed over Aelin as she remembered the arrow Nesryn had fired. No matter how much she wanted, Aelin couldn't trust her. She couldn't trust anybody other than Aedion and herself. And Rowan, but... he wasn't here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nesryn was quick to reassure her that nothing was awry. "I came to deliver the report on the new bases we've found. But I can return later if you two are busy." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin nodded in understanding and relief. "We were just going out to get my cousin some food."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nesryns expression shifted from her stony business face to something more friendly, and she thought for a second before offering, "You want an extra set of eyes watching your back?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin considered it. It would be helpful, especially since Aedion was in no shape to fight, but was she trustworthy enough?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They ended up agreeing, after an especially awkward conversation about Chaol. Talking about exes sucked. Especially when that ex called you a monster. And you’re talking about them to their sort of friend-with-benefits. Those thoughts made Aelin long for Rowan to be here... she mentally slapped herself. Why would thoughts about her ex-boyfriend make her think of Rowan? They were just friends. Even if she wanted something more, Rowan was still scarred from Lyria. And older than her. And on a different continent. Aelin sighed wistfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin led Nesryn and Aedion to a sketchy, run-down diner a few blocks away. Aelin walked in confidently and kicked a couple of thugs out of a well-concealed booth in the back. It had only taken one particularly threatening glare from her to have them scrambling away. Pathetic, really.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin had brought a deck of cards from the apartment, and they played a couple rounds of poker, using Aedion’s order of french fries as chips (despite his many protests), and they refused several offers from other bar-goers to join the game. They stayed there until the kitchen closed, eating cheeseburgers and chicken tenders. Aelin swiped a jar of crayons the diner kept for younger kids and they started drawing various scribbles all over the disposable tablecloth. Aelin was quite proud of her sketch of fire, so much so that she posted a photo of it on her Instagram (with nothing else in the frame, of course, she wasn't dumb enough to be tracked that easily). Based on Nesryn’s expression of awe, she agreed with Aelin's assessment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I didn't know you could draw that well!" she said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin shrugged, "Only fire, really. I have a thing for pyrotechnics."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aedion snorted. "You could say that." He turned to Nesryn. "She once blew up half of the local library when we were kids." She smiled sadly at that fond memory. That was only a couple days before they were killed. They continued to trade childhood memories, laughing and getting along. It shocked Aelin how much she liked Nesryn, and she was sad to know she was too loyal to Chaol.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They paid for all of the food and slipped out of the diner onto the cool city streets. They roamed around the neighborhood, all reluctant to go back home. The streets were dark with shadows, the only light provided by the flickering street lamps. The sidewalks were uneven, and Aelin, being the graceful and elegant creature she was, tripped over them several times, to which Aedion teased her mercilessly about while Nesryn stifled laughter. The residential strip of city they were exploring was mostly deserted, people having gone to restaurants and bars in the busier part of town. Aedion laughed and joked with them, but she could see the sadness lingering in his turquoise eyes. Aelin was fed up with his sulky behavior, but she understood.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All of a sudden, Aedion froze up and threw a hand up in warning to stop Aelin and Nesryn. They froze and looked around silently, searching for the threat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aedion had his nose in the air, sniffing for a clue, while Aelin strained her ears, attempting to hear footsteps. Aelin saw a vague figure appear in the fog, and Aedion drew his knives.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But then the figure emerged from the shadows and Aelin’s heart stopped. She took one step forward, not believing her eyes. A sob escaped her and she took off running, throwing herself onto the familiar silver-haired male. He lifted her up and they embraced tightly. The smell of pine and snow wrapped around Aelin and she couldn't fight her smile. Her entire body was trembling from the force of how much she had missed him. Tears threatened to escape and she had to bite her quivering lip to repress sobs. He was here. He was finally here. Aelin was wrapped up in that one thought, in the feeling of the familiar strong arms enveloping her, but she still faintly heard Aedion explain to Nesryn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Who is that?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Rowan."</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Another update! And an actual chapter this time! I know this is going to be a really long A/N but please read it! I decided that this story is going to stray completely from the plot of QoS! It will still have Dorian and Chaol and Nesryn and everyone and will take place in the same timeframe, but rowaelin might get together sooner and the plot with magic and valg won’t be at all a part of it! This is going to be the last chapter that is basically a re-write of QoS! Instead of being the heir to terresan, she is going to be the rightful owner of one of the largest newspapers in the world, and Arobyn and Maeve are both going to own their biggest competitors. I have outlined two different paths for the rest of this story! 1) is rowan and aelin get together a little over halfway through, and spend the rest of the story facing Arobyn (their company’s competitor and 2) is a long, slow burn between the two. Comment which one you would prefer! Also, I have moved the rowaelin one-shot to a different book where I may be posting other one-shots if I feel like it! Go check it out on my profile! Sorry about the long a/n, enjoy the chapter!!!!  </p><p> I won’t usually switch P.O.V’s but for this chapter, it’s going to be in rowan’s because we already have this from Aelin’s in QoS!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Rowan couldn't wipe the smile off his face. The seemingly permanent ache in his chest was gone now that Aelin was in his arms. He felt Aelin shaking and knew she was crying by the hot tears landing on his neck, but he just held her tighter. She buried her face in his neck in response. Rowan breathed deeply, inhaling her familiar scent. The scent of home. The familiar smell of jasmine, lemon verbena, and crackling embers consumed his senses, filling him with bliss. Aelin leaned back and Rowan instantly felt the loss of her warm breath on his neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How did you get here? How did you </span>
  <em>
    <span>find </span>
  </em>
  <span>me?" Aelin scrutinized him, looking at him in awe. He couldn't believe it either. He was finally here, with her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Composing himself best he could, Rowan said, "You made it clear Doranellians </span>
  <b>(A/N yes doranellians, deal with it) </b>
  <span>wouldn't be welcome here."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin's eyes filled with fury, conveying the message of </span>
  <em>
    <span>racist assholes.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Rowan's heart panged at the passion in her expression. He struggled to control his voice, to hide his storm of emotions. Rowan continued to explain how he had stowed away on the ship and found her apartment by using find my iPhone. She had snorted fondly at that, saying, "I forgot what a tech genius you are." He just shook his head, holding back from telling her that a) everyone with an iPhone and someone to track knows how to use find my and b) that he had been checking her social media so obsessively to the point of stalking that he knew where she would be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After catching up a little bit more, Aelin led him towards the rest of her party. The woman just nodded her head while the man-- who he assumed was Aedion-- met his stare with a challenging gaze of his own. Aelin noticed and squeezed Rowan's side so hard that he hissed in outrage and pinched her shoulder in retaliation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They started the trek back to the apartment, the woman slipping away at some point. Aedion took the lead, and Aelin stayed right by Rowan's side, just where he wanted her. That is until she pressed even closer into him, causing all of his muscles to tense, and all of the feelings he had been suppressing while away to bubble right back up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As they entered the run-down warehouse, Rowan looked around, assessing the safety and practicality of it. Aelin tugged at his hand and pulled his upstairs, bringing him out of his thoughts. He examined and marked every exit, entrance, and possible threat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aedion was waiting for them by the fireplace, but Aelin didn't stop moving. "Aed, meet Rowan. Rowan, meet Aedion. His Highness needs a bath or I'll vomit if I have to sit next to him for more than a minute," was the only introduction she offered. Rowan knew he would have to make an effort to be civil towards Aedion, and this wasn't the best way to start off, but Aelin was dragging him into her bedroom before he could protest, slamming the door behind them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin quickly shooed him into the bathroom, filling up the tub. He then stripped off his rancid clothes and submerged himself in the scalding water. Aelin was scrubbing delicately at his hair as he soaked. Ignoring his unwanted thoughts about Aelin was one thing, but bathing in front of her took a whole new level of self-control. Especially after the wave of desire that washed over him when she took off her hood earlier, revealing her face in the light. The memories he had of her-- he remembered she was beautiful. But after months apart, she was </span>
  <em>
    <span>ethereal</span>
  </em>
  <span>. His breath had caught in his throat. And when he had taken off </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>hood, he would have sworn she had given him an appreciative once over. But no. She didn't think of him that way. That was why they were just friends. Why all they could ever be was friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After he finished washing up, Aelin handed him a towel and turned around so that her back was facing him. He quickly got out, causing the now lukewarm water to slosh out of the tub. He sloppily wrapped the towel on his waist, fighting the blush that threatened to appear. Aelin turned around and took one look at how low the towel hung before rushing out of the room. He followed slowly behind her, joining her in her massive closet. Rowan looked through it, admiring the hoards of clothing and elegant dresses she had hanging there. He fought the images his mind conjured, especially the ones of her wearing the more revealing dresses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After being thoroughly teased about them, Aelin spoke quietly. "I missed you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rowan's heart stopped. He missed her too. So gods-damned much. But-- Aelin couldn't know that. Couldn't know the extent of his feelings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We weren't apart for that long." Lies. They were apart for far too long.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So? Am I not allowed to miss you?" she asked angrily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I once told you that the people you care about are weapons to be used against you. Missing me was a foolish distraction." Every word that came out of his mouth physically hurt him, but he forced himself to say them. They were what Aelin needed to hear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're a real charmer, you know that?" Aelin bit out. Rowan's chest caved in on himself at the pain in her expression, but he stopped himself from calling out as Aelin threw a pair of clothes at him and stormed into the bathroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rowan sighed and changed into the sweatpants he was handed-- the shirt was too small. Rowan knew these clothes used to be Sam's. He knew that it probably hurt her for him to wear it. But he also knew that they had limited options, and this was the one she chose. Rowan emerged from the closet and Aelin took him to meet Aedion-- properly this time.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The next chapter is here!!!! Okay, so I realized that in the second chapter I referred to rowan as prince rowan. Ignore that! I went back and fixed it on wattpad but I'm too lazy to do it here too so..... if you want to read it go check it out on wattpad. Sorry! I think I mentioned this last chapter, but the book is basically just gonna be about their relationship, not so much plot, but I wanted to give it the same modern setting, so like the head of a company, hacker, shit like that. There are probably going to be a ton of plot holes that don’t make sense and stuff though….  Enjoy the chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Rowan and Aelin walked into the kitchen and found Aedion tensely perched on the couch, waiting for them. The first thing he did was give Rowan's shirtless body a once-over that had Aelin fighting her instincts telling her to wrap a protective arm around his chiseled chest. Then, to make matters worse, Aedion looked to Aelin and said, "You never bothered to tell me how handsome your friend is, Aelin." That time, she couldn't stop a scowl from gracing her face. Aedion ignored her expression, turning to Rowan. "Tomorrow you and I are going to look at some programs on my computer. I want to know everything you know."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin looked at him incredulously, clicking her tongue. "All I've heard from your mouth these past few days is Rowan Whitethorn this, Rowan Whitethorn that, and yet </span>
  <em>
    <span>this </span>
  </em>
  <span>is what you decide to say to him. No bowing or scraping?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If Rowan Whitethorn wants formalities, I can grovel, but he doesn't look like someone who particularly cares," Aedion replied, shrugging his shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin was seething. Just a little bit ago, Aedion would have been willing to do anything for The Rowan Whitethorn, but now that he was here, he had to act like a total ass. Aelin threw a glare at Rowan, daring him to make things worse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Whatever my Aelin wants," he stated, his eyes full of amusement. </span>
  <b>(A/N This was important dialogue so I wanted to include it, but in the book, he says my queen, and we can't have that, so just pretend saying my Aelin doesn't sound super weird </b>
  <span>😬</span>
  <b>)</b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My </span>
  </em>
  <span>Aelin. Aelin’s heart surged at his words but then crashed back down. Aedion noticed them too. The two men met each other's stares, each as fierce as the other. Aedion's turquoise eyes, identical to Aelin’s,  bore into Rowan's pine green eyes that Aelin had grown to associate with home. "If you're going to have a pissing contest, can you at least do it on the roof?" Aelin said, raising one eyebrow. She lent back onto the kitchen sink, trying to play off how much this actually bothered her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rowan turned to her, eyes full of understanding. It seemed that she wasn't as good at hiding her emotions as she thought, at least not from him. He knew her too well. But, to her relief, he let it slide, simply raising his eyebrows in return.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was Aedion who said, "She says we're no better than dogs, so I wouldn't be surprised if she actually believes we'd piss on her furniture."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rowan didn't laugh. He didn't even crack a smile. </span>
  <b>(A/ N In the book, this is where the whole Gavriel plotline would be, but that doesn't really fit the timeline for this fic if we don't want rowan to be like 300 years old so... also when Aedion finds out about the blood oath but that doesn’t happen either...) </b>
  <span>After a few tense seconds of silence, Aelin let out an exasperated sigh before grabbing Rowan's callused hand and firmly dragging him back into her bedroom, nodding goodnight to Aedion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After thoroughly chewing Rowan out for egging on Aedion, Aelin sighed and flopped back onto the bed. "We should go to bed," she said, yawning loudly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rowan's eyes flicked around, and he asked with a forced casual tone that Aelin saw right through, "Where should I sleep?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin patted the pillow next to her as if it were obvious. To her, it was. She had been losing sleep without Rowan's warm body next to hers. "Just like old times."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rowan clenched his jaw and hurt flashed through Aelin. She pushed it away. "It's not like my apartment in Doranelle, where nobody thinks twice about it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And what if I want you to stay here?" Aelin asked, posing the question in the least desperate way she could think of.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Then I'll stay." Relief flooded through Aelin at his words, but then he continued. "On the couch. But you need to be clear to others about what me staying here means."</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What if I don't know what it means myself?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Aelin felt tears welling up in her eyes, but she fought them back. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe Rowan doesn't want to sleep in the bed with you?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Aelin pushed that thought away, not willing to consider it, despite how likely it may have been. He hadn't even missed her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Then I'll make an official statement about my honorable intentions towards you over breakfast," Aelin joked, putting on a mask of irreverence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rowan snorted. "And-- Chaol?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin's stomach lurched. "What about him?" She bit out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just consider how he might interpret things."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why?" Aelin had been avoiding that topic all evening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But, almost like he could sense the anger and pain pouring out of that word, he said, "Tell me what happened."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin couldn't meet his eyes. "He said what happened here-- to my friends, to Dorian and Chaol, while I was away in Wendlyn-- that it was my fault. That I was a monster."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin looked down at her plush white sheets, not being able to bear looking at Rowan's face. She knew deep down Chaol was right. Not even Rowan, the one person she trusted most, had missed her. "Do you think--"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rowan cut her off before she could finish the thought. "Never. Never Aelin." He reached out and tilted her chin up gently, forcing her to meet his eyes. The icy rage she found in his expression and the conviction in his voice was just enough to convince her he was telling the truth. "If you're a monster, I'm a monster," Rowan assured her, grinning widely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin let out a soft laugh, her breath tickling Rowan's face. "Just sleep in the bed. I don't feel like setting up the pull-out couch," Aelin told him, coming up with the most innocent excuse she could, hoping that he agreed. That he wanted her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fine." Aelin blinked back the tears that had been threatening to spill, relieved that he had conceded. "But it sends a message, Aelin."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Red hot anger coursed through Aelin. "Oh? And what message </span>
  <em>
    <span>does</span>
  </em>
  <span> it send? That I'm a whore? That what I do in the privacy of my room with </span>
  <em>
    <span>my</span>
  </em>
  <span> body, is anyone's concern?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You don't think I agree?" Honestly, Aelin didn't know what to think anymore. "But </span>
  <em>
    <span>things are different now</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Aelin. You are the head of a big company, you are in the public eye. We have to consider how it looks, what impact it might have with people who find it to be improper. Explaining that it's for your safety--"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The heat in his voice, the anger-- not at Aelin but at the world, at their situation-- was almost enough to let her look past his last comment. Almost. "Oh, please. My safety? You think whoever the hell has it in for me is going to slither through my window at night? I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can </span>
  </em>
  <span>protect myself, you know!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Gods above, I know you can."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin's nostrils flared. Then what was he picking this fight for? He'd only been here for a short while and they were already at each other's throats. "This is the stupidest fight we've ever had. All thanks to your idiocy, I might add. Get in bed." Aelin stalked into her closet, exaggerated swishing her hips. Oh, she'd show him just how </span>
  <em>
    <span>improper</span>
  </em>
  <span> she could be.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay, the end of the chapter! I think I might switch between Rowan and Aelin’s perspectives each chapter, what do you guys think? I hope you enjoyed it! Stay safe❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Rowan was lounging on Aelin's queen bed, nestled under the giant comforter. Rowan knew Aelin was finally leaving her expansive closet by the creak in the floorboards. His eyes snapped to her, and he flew into a sitting position, shaking the bed. "What in hell is </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span>?" Rowan exclaimed, his eyes wide. Aelin completely ignored him, strutting into the bathroom and bringing his attention to her ass. Rowan had to hold back a growl, his eyes following her every move until she disappeared into her lavish bathroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rowan squeezed his eyes shut, trying to expel the image of Aelin in that flimsy, lace, oh so short pink nightgown from his brain. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Boundaries. Lines. Limits. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Rowan repeated those words over and over, but the image was permanently ingrained into his head. Rowan propped his head against the ingrained headboard, pulling the blankets higher up his waist to hide the significant bulge in his already-tight pants. He crossed his arms tightly over his chest, silently reprimanding himself. He couldn't think this way. It would only lead to pain and heartbreak.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Aelin doesn't even feel the same way</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he told himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You don't know that,</span>
  </em>
  <span> the voice in his head retorted.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She's still getting over the loss of Sam!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The voice was quick to respond, </span>
  <em>
    <span>It's been three years!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It's been even longer since Lyria! </span>
  </em>
  <span>Rowan internally screamed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The voice was silent. Grief and guilt washed over Rowan. He couldn't fight the thought that he was betraying Lyria by lo-- whatever it is he felt for Aelin. He fought the urge to take out his phone and look at pictures of Lyria. That only ever made him sad. Rowan continued to ponder the mess he had gotten himself into, but every thought vanished from his head as Aelin stepped back out of the bathroom, still clothed in the pale pink lingerie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You forgot the bottom part," Rowan managed to say with a steady voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin didn't respond at first, leisurely making her way through the room, switching off the several lamps scattered throughout one at a time. Rowan couldn't peel his eyes away from her. Finally, </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she turned to him and responded with a simple, "There is no bottom part." She flipped back the covers on her side of the bed. "It's starting to get </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>hot, and I hate sweating when I sleep. Plus, you're practically a furnace. So it's either this or I sleep naked." Rowan blanched at the thought. "You can sleep in the bathtub if you have a problem with it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anyone could tell that that was bullshit, but Rowan couldn't hold back his growl. "You've made your point." Honestly, he couldn't think of any reason she would want to wear that other than to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>improper</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Gods, she's pret--petty. Petty. Not pretty.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Aelin grumbled to herself under her breath and slipped in next to Rowan. He inched away from her almost imperceptibly. Rowan was hyper aware of the distance separating them. It felt like a chasm. Like her warmth was way too far away, but at the same time, it felt so close, as if he could just reach out and touch her. But, no. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Boundaries. Lines. Limits</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin snuggled into her pillow, her back facing Rowan. He traces the intricate tattoo with his eyes, forcing himself to think about that, and only that. "I need to fill in the ink a bit more in a few spots," he said, his words reverberating through the previously silent room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What?" Aelin asked, rolling over to face him. The moonlight illuminated her face, making it just light enough for Rowan to make out her features. He stared adamantly at the ceiling to avoid looking at her chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Your tattoo. There are a few spots I need to fill in at some point."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fine." Aelin flopped her head back onto the pillow, turning away from him. The hostility in her voice confused Rowan. Had he done something wrong? Said something? He had been careful to only talk about safe, </span>
  <em>
    <span>friendly</span>
  </em>
  <span>, topics like her tattoo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a few heartbeats, Rowan broke the silence by saying, "I've never seen-- clothing like that." Damn trying to stay on safe topics. They obviously still managed to upset her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin rolled back towards him, and this time he built up the courage to meet her gaze. Shadows were cast over her features, but her eyes glimmered with humor. "You mean to tell me the females in Doranelle don't have scandalous nightclothes? Or anywhere else in the world?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rowan didn't let himself think about the awkwardness of the topic, falling into the familiar rhythm of their taunts. "My encounters with other females usually didn't involve parading around in nightclothes," he said, a whisper of a smile on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And what clothes did they involve?" Aelin asked, the silhouette of her smirk just barely visible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Usually, none at all." Aelin clucked her tongue, and Rowan immediately regretted the comment. He really should not bring up past girlfriends and flings to the woman he-- to Aelin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Having had the utter delight of meeting Remelle this spring, I have a hard time believing </span>
  <em>
    <span>she </span>
  </em>
  <span>didn't subject you to clothing parades," Aelin remarked. The smile that spread across her face was so unbearably beautiful that Rowan had to force himself to look away, turning back towards the ceiling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We're not talking about this," he grumbled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin laughed, the delightful sound filling Rowan's heart with joy, erasing his annoyance. "Are all your nightclothes like that?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So curious about my negligees, Buzzard. Whatever would the others say? Maybe you should release a statement of your own to clarify." Rowan flushed red and was glad the darkness covered it. He just wanted to know how much hell he was in for. Self-restraint was a difficult thing, and that nightgown might just have been the death of him. He growled playfully, deflecting his embarrassment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, I have more, don't worry." Rowan could hear the smile in her voice. "If someone comes to murder me in my sleep, I might as well look good."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fuck. He was in for it, and Rowan didn't know how long he would be able to last. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Boundaries. Lines. Limits. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He reminded himself of his new favorite words. "Vain until the bitter end," he chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is there a specific color you'd like me to wear? If I'm going to scandalize you, I should at least do it in something you like."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rowan didn't let himself picture the possibilities. "You're a menace."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin let out another laugh. Aelin curled up, burying her face into her pillow. Rowan then deemed it safe for him to turn back towards her. As he scanned her face, her body, he couldn't fight the thought of her in a specific color. Images invaded his head, despite how hard he tried to dispel them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Gold, not yellow-- real, metallic gold," Rowan managed to rumble out through his lustful haze. He didn't know why he told her. He was just making this a million times worse for himself, but he couldn't resist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're out of luck. I would never own anything so ostentatious," Aelin said, her voice muffled by the satin pillow. A smile spread across Rowan's face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rowan was still laying there long after Aelin's breathing had evened out and she had fallen into a deep slumber. He was grinding his teeth, staring intently at the ceiling, careful not to let his gaze slip. His self-control was slowly dissolving.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That gods-damned nightgown.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was in such deep, unending shit.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you enjoyed the chapter! I was originally going to put the Aedion blood-oath scene in this one, but the nightgown thing took way longer than I expected. I am also debated whether or not to actually write it. I don't like it when they fight, and the blood-oath isn't actually a part of this au. Do you guys think I should include it or just move on to my own plot? Stay safe!❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay another update! I kinda rushed to get this one out because for most of september-- or the rest of it since it is technically 12:57 in the morning-- I am going to stop updating. I'll still be active, but I want to take some time to just write most of the rest of this fic. Right now, each update is stressful, but if I have chapters pre-written, I will be fine! I also have an og story idea that I think I will spend some time working on for wattpad! So this is the chapter for the next month or so! Sorry! Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Aelin was woken up by her hunger. Her stomach rumbled, and she pried her eyes open, squinting at the onset of light. She found a sun-kissed, tattoo-covered arm draped across her torso. Rowan must have come closer in the night. She snuggled into his warmth, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. She was reluctant to get up but needed to appease her stomach. She sighed softly and peeled Rowan's strapping arm off of her, careful not to wake him. She slowly detangled her legs from his, sliding out of the bed. She pulled on her silk robe and threw her faint red hair-- the dye faded-- into a messy bun atop her head. Padding quietly across the room, Aelin took extra care to keep the door from squeaking as she slipped into the living room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She picked her way through the living room towards the kitchen, avoiding the floorboards she knew creaked. Still groggy, Aelin pulled the kettle out of the cabinet, filling it with water and turning on the stove. She pulled on the door to the fridge, her muscles still asleep, and stumbled back when it flew open. She grabbed a carton of eggs and slammed it shut, too frustrated to keep quiet. After cracking six eggs into a bowl, she scoured the kitchen for ingredients to add to the omelets. They desperately needed to go grocery shopping. Aelin would have to look for a new store since the market burned down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin froze at the sound of approaching footsteps. She grabbed a knife off the counter, whirling around to face her attacker, only to find a scared-looking Aedion with his hands in the air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry," Aelin muttered, turning back to her task.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aedion just chuckled, taking a seat on the table across from Aelin. "I know you're angry at me for being an asshole to Rowan last night, but that's kind of extreme."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin completely ignored his remark, chopping aggressively. Damn right she was angry. Rowan was here, only a couple paces from her, and she was endlessly happy, but Aedion had to fuck it up by getting into a dominance battle with him. But, Aelin didn't want to think about that. She just wanted to make breakfast and curl up on the couch with Rowan and a good book.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm really sorry, Ace," Aedion said sincerely, reaching out to touch his cousin's shoulder comfortingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin didn't let herself turn around, knowing that his expression would cause her to cave. She had to rebuild her resistance to his puppy-dog face from when she was a child. Aelin merely replied with, "Get the onions from the fridge."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aedion hopped off the counter and scrambled to the fridge, glad for a task. "We also have mushrooms," he informed Aelin over his shoulder, pulling the onions out of the vegetable drawer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Cut those up too," she ordered, not looking up from the cutting board.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, ma'am," Aedion said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He did a mock salute, and Aelin just flipped him off. After a couple of minutes of silent chopping, Aedion dared to speak. "Is this my punishment for last night?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin snorted. "If you think it's adequate," she said simply, turning to face him and raising an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aedion coughed awkwardly, not knowing what to say. Aelin knew he was used to the harsh punishments of the bane, so she just laughed it off, ruffling his hair. He grunted in protest, shoving her hand away. She laughed again, turning back to the omelets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Make the bacon or you don't get to eat any of it," Aelin told Aedion, using a spatula to flip the eggs in the sizzling hot pan. Aedion couldn't move fast enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>15 minutes later, several burns, and a few choice curses later, breakfast had been laid out on the dining table. Aedion pulled out the seat to the right of the head, plopping down into the chair. Aelin couldn't a disgusting grimace at the sheer amount of food he piled onto his plate. Aedion just smiled cheekily at her, shoveling a giant bite of eggs into his mouth. Aelin sighed and swiped a piece of bacon from his plate. He tried to snatch it from her hands but she crammed it into her mouth before he could.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"In gomma po pake up Roman," Aelin said through her mouthful of food, leaving the room before Aedion could complain or yell at her for stealing his bacon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin entered her room expecting to find Rowan sitting up on the bed, or getting ready. Instead, he was splayed across the bed, fast asleep. The quilt was covering up to his waist, having been pushed down when Aelin got up. She had to force herself to look away from his chiseled abs. She smiled softly to herself at his peaceful state before slipping into her closet. Rowan must have been exhausted from his journey to sleep through the racket Aedion and Aelin had made.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin took off her robe, hanging it on the hook on the wall, and shed her nightgown, tossing it into the overflowing hamper. She slipped on a simple light blue tunic and black leggings. A comfortable, practical outfit for a day of lounging around the house. She made her way into the bathroom and took in her appearance in the mirror. The bags under her eyes had faded significantly. Last night had been the best sleep she’d gotten since leaving Mistward. She pulled out her bun, snapping the elastic around her wrist, and quickly finger-combed through her dye-damaged hair. After splashing her face with water, Aelin went back into her bedroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin crawled over the bed towards where Rowan was resting. She didn't want to disturb his peace. Pushing his now-cropped silver hair out of his face, Aelin took in his sharp features. Her eyes lingered on his lips, upturned into a soft smile at whatever he had been dreaming about. She realized how easy it would be to just lean down and kiss him. Aelin pushed the thought away. She was tired. And stupid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Aelin bent over, pressing her lips to the shell of his ear, knowing it would rile him up. She then hollered, "BACON!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rowan jolted awake, looking around frantically. "What? Where? Bacon?" His eyes landed on Aelin and realization hit him. He reached over, starting to tickle Aelin in retaliation. She shrieked, trying to wriggle out of his grasp, but he was holding on too tight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"There. Is. Bacon. And. Eggs. On. The. Table," Aelin panted out sporadically between laughs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rowan perked up at that, freeing Aelin. She chuckled at his reaction. "Oh, Buzzard, before we go out there, please, please, try to be civil towards Aedion."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rowan started to groan but snapped his mouth shut at the glare promising death that Aelin was sending his way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fiiiiine, I'll </span>
  <em>
    <span>try</span>
  </em>
  <span>," Rowan conceded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good," was all she said before dragging him out to breakfast.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm back! It has been a month, but I have finished writing this entire fic! It ended up being 35k words! Thank you to choerryonce for beta reading this fic! I hope you enjoy! I am going to update every other day!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The table was wrapped in tense silence. Rowan focused on his food, shoveling a forkful of eggs into his mouth to fill the void. Aelin, mercifully, had changed out of that piece of lace and into real clothes, sparing Rowan from a day of carefully averting his eyes. Aedion's gaze was permanently fixed on Rowan, his eyes narrowed in aggression. Rowan stared back just as fiercely, but let out an indignant yelp as something slammed down hard on his foot. His head whipped to Aelin, finding her glaring at him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You promised,</span>
  </em>
  <span> her pursed lips seemed to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rowan let out a long-suffering sigh. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I know. I'm sorry</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Aelin just rubbed her temples and turned to Aedion, hissing something under her breath. Rowan assumed it was a similar reprimand as the one she gave him. Rowan drained his glass of orange juice to relieve the dryness of his throat. He told himself it was just because he was parched. It didn't have anything to do with wanting to make a good impression on Aelin's beloved cousin. The syrupy liquid glided down his throat, soothing his worries. After stuffing his face with the rest of his omelet, Rowan knew he couldn't keep stalling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Turning to Aedion, he ground out in the most sincere voice he could muster, "We sorta got off on the wrong foot last night. I was hoping we could start again?" Rowan fought a grimace, pasting a fake smile on his face. Apparently, though, he wasn't very convincing, if the kick to the shins he received in response was any indication. He rubbed his leg gently. Those were definitely going to bruise. Rowan marveled at how much damage Aelin could do, even with bare feet. She seemed to have perfected the art of kicking him under the table during her time at Mistward, and certainly put it to use during Remelle's visit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aedion snorted, also calling him on his bullshit. But, after a pleading glance from Aelin, he conceded. "That sounds great! I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can't wait</span>
  </em>
  <span> to get to know you!" He says, his words oozing with sarcasm, flashing Rowan a fake smile. That didn't seem to meet Aelin's standards either. A resounding crack echoed through the room, unmistakably the sound of Aelin crushing Aedion's foot. Rowan smiled privately to himself at the knowledge that he wasn't the only one facing her wrath now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Back in Mistward, Rowan was really the only person Aelin could be herself around. At first, he was a complete asshole towards her, pissed at Aunt Maeve for sending him away from Doranelle and his friends-- acquaintances is a more fitting word-- to deal with a brat. But, as time progressed, he became closer and closer to Aelin, ending in the close-knit friendship they have now. She even let him tattoo her, granted she was drunk and mourning Sam and Nehemia. The problem was, he started developing feelings beyond just friendship, but Rowan wasn't going to think about that now. The point was, Aelin felt comfortable being herself around him from the start, whether it was screaming at him or laughing with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emrys and Luca aside, everyone else there was scared of Aelin, and never really got close to her. Even with those two, Aelin was timider, more careful with her words. She respected them and didn't want to upset them. That was fine there since she spent most of the time at Rowan's house anyway. Here though, Aelin had Aedion and Lysandra, and, Rowan supposed, Chaol, though he couldn't think about him without being overcome with the urge to bust his brains out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brought back to the present by Aelin's familiar screech, Rowan saw Aedion's hand dart away from Aelin's plate, bearing a piece of bacon. He crammed it into his mouth, and Rowan had to stifle a laugh at Aelin’s horrified expression. She scowled at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Payback," was all Aedion said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rowan wasn't quite sure what he meant but didn't push the topic, as his mind became otherwise occupied. The real reason he had flown across the world popped into his head, filling his core with dread. He knew he had to tell them, but didn't know how to break the news.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Deciding to get it out of the way in one fell swoop, he said, "Lorcan came here right before me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both Aedion and Aelin froze in their seats, Aelin's fork clattering as it fell out of her hand and hit the plate. Rowan knew they had both heard of Lorcan. Most people had. Aelin had even met him. So, Rowan knew they both were sufficiently scared.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Addressing Aelin more specifically, Rowan told them, "That's the real reason I came instead of waiting for you to call for me." That and the painful tug at his chest from being so far away from Aelin. But he couldn't tell them that. "I'm sure he left on Maeve's orders, seeing as she desperately wants to steal The Terrasan Times from you. He is coming to get the papers for your company, but he doesn't know where they are. I'm assuming you do?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin nodded listlessly. "Arobynn has them," she croaked out. Rowan was quick to wrap an arm around her, not only to give her comfort but to give himself a task to distract him from the icy rage that bubbled up at that name. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Arobynn.</span>
  </em>
  <span> That bastard had caused Aelin so much pain. He could see it in her experience-hardened eyes, old beyond her years. He saw the ghosts of tears glistening in her eyes and resisted the urge to wipe them away. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Boundaries. Lines. Limits.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin quickly scrubbed at her eyes, clearing her throat. Rowan pulled his arm away, letting her regain her usual swagger. "I made a deal with him. He would give me the papers if I got him the latest police protocols."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Holy shit. What does he need those for?" Aedion asked, his eyes wide at the daunting task presented.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aelin just shrugged. "Probably for whatever corrupt scheme he's orchestrating next." Rowan nodded in conformation. He couldn't think of any particular reason for having them, other than the sake of possessing the information.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How are we going to get our hands on them?" Rowan asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's a problem for another day." Aelin sighed and leaned her head on Rowan's shoulder. He tensed and the contact, and she started to sit back up, but he pulled her flush against him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aedion opened his mouth to say something, but whatever it was was interrupted by the ominous sound of the doorbell ringing. That couldn't be good.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sound of the doorbell reverberating through the room was still ringing in Aelin's ears. Aedion and Rowan had both frozen in their seats, before coming to their senses and springing up in a search for weapons. Aelin held a hand up, signaling for them to stop.</p><p>"It's probably just Lysandra or Nesryn. Maybe Chaol. Nothing to worry about," Aelin told them, keeping her voice down regardless. She lifted herself silently out of her chair. Creeping towards the front door, she grabbed a pair of knives off the counter. Rowan noticed and raised an eyebrow in question. I thought you said nothing to worry about.</p><p>For Aedion's benefit, she said the next part out loud, though quietly. "You can never be too careful."</p><p>She shooed Aedion and Rowan into their respective rooms. They both looked like they wanted to protest, but Aedion slipped into his room without question when Aelin hissed, "Let me deal with this. I'll be fine." If it led to a fight, she didn't want Aedion to further hurt himself. He was still healing and was desperate to go outside, and tearing his stitches wouldn't help. And Rowan would be helpful in a fight, but Aelin wanted to keep him for herself for just a little while longer. And, if she was being totally honest, she did not want to have to introduce him to Chaol. Like, at all. Aelin wasn't quite sure why, but she was dreading that inevitable task. Rowan still hadn't gone back into her room. She gestured wildly, trying to get him to go, but he shook his head. I'll go when I know you're safe. Aelin's heart warmed at the sentiment, despite her growing annoyance.</p><p>He walked up next to Aelin and peeked through the peephole on the steel door. "Is that Lysandra?"</p><p>Aelin went on her tippy toes, eyes searching for their guest. She nodded. "Not too hard on the eyes, is she?" Shit. Aelin didn't know why she said that.</p><p>Thankfully, Rowan just snorted. "Why is she here?"</p><p>Filled with relief at the change in topic, Aelin was quick to respond with, "She probably has information about Arobynn."</p><p>Rowan's expression darkened considerably at the mention of him, and Aelin couldn't blame him. Her heart was heavy at the thought of everything Arobynn had done to her. She really didn't want to have to face him again. But, she would do what she had to. Flinging open the door to face her friend, Aelin elbowed Rowan hard in the side, signaling for him to leave. He threw his hands up in defeat and retreated into their bedroom as Aelin hooked her arm around Lysandra's and dragged her down the hall, slamming the door shut behind them. She was sure Aedion and Rowan were going to try their very hardest to eavesdrop on their conversation, and Aelin wanted to tell Lysandra about all the new developments out of earshot from them.</p><p>Once they reached an empty bench a safe distance from the apartment, Aelin yanked Lysandra down into the seat next to her. Lysandra just smiled knowingly.</p><p>"Who was that?" She asked much too innocently.</p><p>Aelin glared at her and said, "Rowan." She didn't know why the way Lysandra asked that bothered her so much. She had wanted to talk to Lysandra about Rowan. Aelin sighed. Feelings were so confusing.</p><p>"He's quite handsome," Lysandra said, her eyes glinting mischievously. "I've never been with a Doranellian before."</p><p>Aelin shook her head vigorously, desperate to dispel that image from her mind. "He's--" Her mouth snapped shut as she saw Lysandra's grin. She smacked her arm and whined, "Stop that!"</p><p>Aelin changed her mind. She had thought she wanted to talk to Lysandra about everything that had been happening, but evidently, she did not. It was kind of hard to explain your feelings to someone when you don't understand them. Aelin shut that train of thought down. They were friends. Just friends. That's all she thought of him because that's all he thought of her.</p><p>Lysandra seemed to notice her change in demeanor and was quick to change the subject. "Hmm," was all she said in response. Lysandra started sifting through her purse in search of something, bringing Aelin's attention to the mound of bags and boxes at their feet.</p><p>"Not that it isn't a pleasure to see you, is there a reason you came?" Aelin inquired, trying to distract herself from her previous thoughts.</p><p>"Well, I have two things. One, Nesryn texted me this morning saying you had a new, very muscled guest staying and to bring some clothes. So I stopped at the mall on the way here. Looking at our guest, I think Nesryn undersold him a good deal, so the clothes might be tight-- not that I'm objecting to that one bit-- but he can use them until you get others." Great. Now Lysandra had her thinking about Rowan in tight clothes. Not much better than thinking about feelings. She pulled a stack of clothes out of a large shopping bag and handed them to Aelin.</p><p>"Thank you," she said, setting the clothing down next to her. Lysandra just brushed it off, waving her slender hand. Aelin would thank Nesryn later. "And the other thing?" She was quick to ask, still desperate for a change of subject.</p><p>"News. Arobynn is expecting you to come to dinner in a week with the police reports."</p><p>Aelin let out a heavy sigh. She had a week to steal the reports. It was do-able, but certainly not ideal. It would definitely be easier with Rowan there to help. Aedion would still be useless, seeing as he refuses to sit still and let himself heal. It would take some effort to convince him to stay home. She rubbed her temples at the thought. Arobynn, still making her life hard.</p><p>Lysandra continued to search through her bags. Aelin raised her eyebrows. "There's more?" She asked incredulously.</p><p>Lysandra nodded somberly in response. "Aha!" she exclaimed, pulling out a vial of liquid and holding it up in the air triumphantly. She handed it to Aelin. "Arobynn wants you to wear this almond perfume when you come for dinner."</p><p>That gods-damned possessive, territorial bastard. Of course he did. He wanted her to smell like the scent he gave her. Aelin dragged a hand down her face and groaned. Lysandra smiled sympathetically.</p><p>"I have to go. I have a lunch meeting," she said, gathering her bags and standing up.</p><p>Aelin's stomach dropped at the meaning. She hated that Lysandra had to go through that. She hated that she couldn't do anything about it. She hated Arobynn and Clarisse. Aelin shook her head. They would get what they deserved. She would make sure of it.</p><p>Aelin thanked Lysandra and headed back into the apartment carrying the clothes, perfume, and a heavy heart. She goes straight into her bedroom, ignoring Aedion's distant calls from the kitchen and Rowan's protests from the sofa. She made a beeline for her closet and emptied out a drawer, shoving Rowan's new clothes into it. She slammed the bottle of perfume onto her dresser and stormed back out into the living room. Aelin went directly to the couch and flopped down, resting her head in Rowan's lap.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I started outlining ANOTHER rowaelin soulmate au (this one a multi-chapter fic). It is an au where you dream your soulmate's worst memory until you figure out who your soulmate is. It is sort of similar to this because it is a re-write of heir of fire, just a soulmate au, and rowaelin get together and you don't have to wait a whole book.... would anyone want to read that? Stay safe!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A restless Aedion and jealous Rowan spar. Predictably, it doesn't go well.....</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Another chapter! Also I think I am going to start doing chapter summaries now!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rowan only felt a little bit bad for dragging Aelin to the roof. He had been growing restless being trapped inside, even if just for the day. He was used to the wide-open spaces of Doranelle, not the urban streets. He was feeling a little claustrophobic, but being near Aelin was worth it. Rowan knew Aelin had wanted to stay inside all day; something Lysandra had told her had upset her, but Rowan hadn't been able to coax the answer out of her yet. Regardless, it was a relief to him to be sparring with Aedion outdoors. Other than moving around and getting exercise, Rowan had been aching to pound Aedion to a pulp.</p><p>After Aelin had returned disgruntled from her meeting with Lysandra, Aedion had mentioned wanting to get out of the house and help steal the reports. Predictably, Aelin had refused. Aedion had protested, saying that he was better and ready to fight. Aelin had just told him to prove it. That's how they got to where they were. Rowan was shirtless, wearing only a pair of black Nike sweatpants that Lysandra had brought. The dry summer air was scorching hot, and Rowan's body was already covered in a coat of sweat. Aedion was in similar shape, wearing a loose gray muscle tee and basketball shorts.</p><p>Aelin had changed as well, discarding her leggings and sweatshirt in exchange for extremely short ripped jean shorts and a pink spaghetti strap tank top. Aedion had several objections to the outfit, most of which Rowan would have been inclined to agree with if only to spare himself the struggle. Rowan was finding it very hard to keep himself from staring at her lean body. Sweat glistened on her sun-kissed skin as she worked out beside them. She had claimed she wanted to get back in shape but had refused to fight Aedion. She had deflected his questioning glance by saying that she didn't want to damage Aedion's fragile pride by kicking his ass. Rowan knew that there was more to it than that, but he couldn't figure out what.</p><p>Rowan was brought back to the task at hand as Aedion's fist came hurtling towards his jaw. He ducked and twirled out of the way, before whirling back around, bringing his hands back up to protect his face. They had been going at it for 10 minutes now, but Rowan was just getting started. When he had been training Aelin in self-defense, they had occasionally fought for up to an hour, only ending when they both collapsed with exhaustion, agreeing to tie. Aedion, on the other hand, was panting hard, wiping the sweat off his brow. His face was scrunched up in focus so he noticed when Rowan jabbed his right arm towards his stomach, blocking the blow with the edge of his arm. What he didn't realize was that that was just a distraction. Rowan swept his feet in a wide arch, slamming into Aedion's legs. He stumbled back and twisted out of the way of Rowan's aggressive assault, his fists swinging in rapid succession towards Aedion's stomach. (A/N I've never really written a fight scene before, I hope that was okay, even if it was short!)</p><p>Aedion groaned in pain, crumbling onto the ground, clutching his sides. Aelin was quick to rush from the spot she had previously been viewing their match with amusement to crouching at his side. She tenderly pulled up his shirt, inspecting his wound. Aelin gasped in horror, and Rowan scrambled to her side to inspect the damage he had inflicted. Aedion's ribs were coated in blood, and fist-shaped purple bruises had already started forming all across his torso. Rowan winced internally. He hadn't meant to hurt him that badly. He knew Aelin would thoroughly chew him out later. Sure, he was pissed at Aedion for being an asshole, but he wanted Aedion to get better if only so he could help them steal the reports and deal with Arobynn. It seemed that he wouldn't be healing any time soon. Some psychotic part of Rowan felt a strange sense of satisfaction at seeing him hurt, but he squashed it quickly. Despite wishing he could put his aggression towards Aedion off as anger, he knew his reasons ran deeper. He didn't know when he became so territorial around Aelin, but the idea of her drifting away from him, becoming closer and confiding in other people, really bugged Rowan.</p><p>At this point, Rowan knew what he felt for her was more than just lust. The way his heart swelled when he made her laugh, the way he couldn't fight his smile when she spoke to him, her smooth, modulated voice caressing his ears. That wasn't just lust. Whether he liked or lo-- Rowan didn't let himself think about what that would mean for him. For them. He knew Aelin didn't feel the same about him. He wouldn't consider the possibilities, wouldn't give himself false hope. She had given him no signs of returning his feelings.</p><p>Aelin and Rowan slung Aedion's arms around their shoulders and hoisted him to his feet. They leisurely made their way back to the apartment, moving slowly as to not further aggravate his wounds. Aelin kicked open the door and they gently laid him down on the couch. Aelin hurried to a cabinet to get their first aid kit. She came back with some ace bandages, alcohol wipes, and antibacterial ointment. Rowan crouched down next to her, helping Aelin wipe the blood away, cleaning the wound for further inspection.</p><p>"It seems like most of this damage is from re-opening your previous gashes, not the thorough ass-kicking Rowan gave you," Aelin declared, throwing him a dirty look at the last part. She probed his side, and Aedion winced in pain. "You definitely tore your stitches. You were on track to heal in a little over than a week, but thanks to your insistence to make a fool out of yourself, it will likely take around a month for all of these to close back up and the bruises to fade," Aelin scolded, rubbing the ointment gently over his cuts. She lifted his back up, and Rowan helped her wrap the bandages snuggly around Aedion's bare torso.</p><p>Aedion groaned, partly in pain and partly in protest. "This is your own fault!" Aelin exclaimed. Aedion scowled. His long blond hair, an identical shade to Aelin's, fell into his face.</p><p>"What did you expect from fighting someone with years more experience than you while still injured? Any chance you had of convincing me to let you come with us when we break into the precinct is gone," she hissed.</p><p>Rowan stayed silent, not wanting to butt in and make matters worse. He helped Aelin finish tending to Aedion before standing up and fleeing to the kitchen, announcing, "I'm going to make dinner!"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aelin had been waiting for this moment all day. Last night hadn't worked out as she had hoped. At first, her negligee seemed to bother him, as intended. He tensed up and started asking her questions about it, which amused her to no end. But then, once she got into bed, he started talking about her tattoo, completely changing the subject. She should have known that showing a little skin wouldn't affect him. To him, a body was just that, a body. Especially hers. That bothered her more than she cared to admit. Aelin wasn't quite sure what she had expected to happen. She was just trying to prove a point about what she did within the walls of her bedroom was her business and her business alone. It wasn't like she felt a jolt of joy when she thought she saw Rowan's eyes glaze over, like she wanted him to pull her close and kiss her deeply, or anything. Right?</p><p>Either way, Aelin couldn't deny that she was struggling to keep her eyes from roaming the defined planes of his chest. She had seen him shirtless plenty of times while in Mistward, but for some reason, it affected her differently last night. She had to fight the urge to run her fingers across his body, to press her lips against--- Aelin pushed those thoughts away. She didn't like him like that. She couldn't. He certainly didn't. Aelin sighed deeply. Feelings were shit. It was so much easier being alone, before Sam, before Chaol, before Rowan.</p><p>Aelin peeled her sweat-soaked, blood-stained tank top off of her. She had stripped off her favorite sweatshirt before tending to Aedion, salvaging it, but the same couldn't be said about her leggings and tank top. She should take a shower, but she was too exhausted, ready to collapse into her inviting bed. She shimmied out of her leggings, tossing them into her already-overflowing hamper with her top.</p><p>Stark naked, Aelin strutted across her massive closet and squatted down by her dresser. She slid open the bottom drawer and started rifling through her extensive collection of various scandalous nightwear. She pulled out a thin silk gown. She held it up to her body, turning around to look at herself in the floor-length mirror propped up against the wall across from her. While the dress's swooping neckline covered more than her other nightclothes, and the hem came down to below mid-thigh, the dress was so thin that it left absolutely nothing to the imagination, counteracting any semblance of modesty. Crinkling her nose, she refolded it and placed it back into the drawer.</p><p>Aelin's face lit up as her eyes fell on the perfect nightgown. The blue color brought out her eyes, and the lacy hem came down to right below her ass. The plunging neck revealed much, yet the gown left just enough hidden. Aelin didn't want to show too much. She was only teasing. She slipped the dress over her head, careful not to tear the delicate fabric. Picking up a comb from her dresser, she ran it thoroughly through her hair, styling it into an enticing mess.</p><p>After unclipping her jewelry and placing it gently into her box, she grabbed a make-up wipe and cleaned off her face. She tossed it into the trash, missing terribly. Sighing deeply, Aelin pushed open the door of her closet and entered her grandeur room. Upon seeing the un-moving mass splayed on top of the covers, she took another tentative step forward, careful not to wake Rowan.</p><p>As she approached the bed, the body flew into a sitting position, causing Aelin to shriek at the top of her lungs. Rowan burst out into a fit of laughter, rolling across the bed clutching his stomach. Aelin flipped him off, admonishing him. "You scared me, Buzzard!"</p><p>"Oh, I'm so sorry, Fireheart," he said, his voice belying his words. He looked up from where he had his face buried in the covers, and froze, taking her outfit. A split second later, his shit-eating grin was back, and Aelin thought she may have imagined its disappearance. "You certainly are persistent," he commented, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>Aelin huffed a laugh in response. "That's how I got to where I am today," Aelin said, flashing him a dazzling smile.</p><p>He returned it, his eyes dancing with humor. "That, and nepotism." Aelin just scowled at him, flipping him the bird again. "Come on, let's go to sleep," he suggested, patting the spot next to him as he slipped under the blanket.</p><p>"That's what I was planning to do before you scared the shit out of me," she grumbled indignantly. She strutted over to the bed, swishing her hips just enough to cause her gown to ride up her thighs, revealing more skin. As Aelin slipped into the bed, flipping the quilt back, she could have sworn she saw a bulge coming from Rowan's pants, but it was gone as soon as it came, as he pulled the covers back over himself, muttering something about it being cold.</p><p>Aelin smiled internally and then chastised herself for doing so. She shouldn't feel satisfied because of that. SHe didn't even know if that's actually what she saw. And if it was, it wasn't because of her, it was because of her body. She knew Rowan had many flings since Lyria's death, hell she had even met one of them--though Aelin did not want to think about Remelle-- but she also knew that none of them ever had feelings involved. She wasn't sure if Rowan ever wanted to be in a real relationship again. Aelin knew that she had after Sam died, but everyone heals and grieves differently. And anyway, no one could ever replace him, ever make her feel the same. Chaol didn't even come close. Shit. Sam. A wave of sadness crashed over Aelin. Just thinking about Rowan in this way made her chest heavy with guilt. But, it wasn't like she was actually considering doing anything with Rowan. She was just thinking about his well being, like a supportive best friend. Because that was all she'd ever be. All she ever could be, all he'd ever want her to be. His best friend.</p><p>Aelin pushed the thoughts away. She didn't want to end an already shitty day this depressingly. She shimmied deeper into the mattress, pulling the blankets up to her chin. Completely enveloped in the comforter, she was still shivering from the cold. Adarlan nights were freezing, even in the summer. Aelin sighed, clenching her teeth together to stop them from chattering, and closed her eyes, intent to end the day. All of a sudden, a warm arm was flung across her stomach, pulling her close. She smiled contently to herself, snuggling into Rowan's warmth. She closed her eyes, the exhaustion from the stressful day taking over, and let sleep claim her.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aelin had woken Rowan up at the ass-crack of dawn. He was still groggy, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, as she threw a pile of clothes at him. "Put this on, I'm showing you around the city today," she sang, skipping into her closet.</p><p>It unnerved him to see her so chipper so early in the morning. Usually, it was him dragging her out of bed for training. He guessed times had changed drastically. And he wasn't so sure he wanted them to. He wasn't sure what that meant for them. Groaning, Rowan got out of bed and went into the bathroom to change, flinching at the chill of the marble tile.</p><p>They still had a lot they had to do in the next 6 days, but Rowan couldn't bear reminding Aelin. She looked so excited to show him around her city. Rowan's heart panged at the thought. She should have grown up happily in a nice house in Orynth with her parents, but instead, she grew up in Adarlan, in that shit-hole with Arobynn, frequenting the slums. Aelin looked the happiest she had in a while, and Rowan wasn't going to ruin that. If he was being honest, he was also looking forward to today. They could spare one day of stress-free fun. Hell if she didn't deserve it.</p><p>Rowan shed his sweatpants and pulled on the faded jean shorts and ratty band t-shirt from Goodwill. He quickly splashed his face with water, the cold jolting him awake, and finger-combed through his silver hair. The short-cropped cut still didn't feel natural to him. Sighing, Rowan left the bathroom and went to perch himself on the edge of the bed to wait for Aelin, only to find her already there. His breath caught in his throat as he took in her outfit. She was wearing a short, pale yellow sundress with black flowers stitched across it. The yellow accentuated her golden hair. She had small gold hoop earrings and a necklace with a sunflower pendant dangling in between her breasts. Rowan had to force himself not to look. It wasn't fair. Not only was night time torture, but she also had to look so damn beautiful all of the time.</p><p>"Where to first?" Rowan asked, rubbing his eyes under the pretense of exhaustion.</p><p>Aelin just smiled. "My favorite place in the whole city," she said cheekily.</p><p>Rowan winced internally. That could be a whole number of places, ranging from the most innocent of possibilities to the most dangerous. Knowing Aelin, it was probably the latter. "You're not taking me to the pits, are you? Because Aedion told me about that fight you got into with---"</p><p>"I won that fight by the way! But no. Th-that place reminds me too much of Sa--" Aelin's voice broke, and all humor was gone from her face, her expression grave. Of course. The pits were where Sam said he was going on the night that he died. Gods, Rowan was so stupid. But he had to ask about that fight. He couldn't believe Aelin was putting herself in so much danger, and without him there to protect her. She could handle herself, gods did he know that, but Rowan didn't know what he would have done if she had gotten hurt, o-or worse, while he was a whole continent away.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Fireheart," he whispered, sitting down next to her.</p><p>She just shook her head, wiping the few tears that had leaked out quickly. "Let's go," she said, plastering a smile on her face. He let the topic drop, not wanting to ruin her day, and returned her smile. She grabbed his hand and led him out of the house.</p><p>They had been walking through the streets of Adarlan for 10 minutes when Aelin finally came to a screeching stop, halting Rowan with her. He turned to look at her inquisitively. Are you okay? Why did you stop?</p><p>"Here it is," Aelin announced, flourishing her hand towards the building behind her. Rowan turned to look at where she was gesturing towards, and understanding took over his face. Of course. Behind them was a brick building, and on the bottom floor, was a sign hanging with the words Adarlan's Bookshop scrawled in chalk across it.</p><p>Aelin was looking at him expectantly, worry written clearly on her face. Shit, she was waiting for a reaction from him. He smiled at her reassuringly, despite his overwhelming urge to cry. This place was her haven. A haven she needed to escape an abusive family. Arobynn would pay, Rowan would make sure of it.</p><p>"I would always come here to read, drown my sorrows in whatever story I was reading. That's the nice thing about books. They have happy endings." Aelin smiled sadly, and Rowan's heart broke for her.</p><p>"Would you like to go inside?" Rowan asked gently.</p><p>She shook her head. "I-I thought I could but the memories....." She rubbed her face soothingly with her hands, and Rowan wrapped an arm around her shoulder. She looked at him hopefully. "Do you think you could go in and get this book for me? I started writing it when I was little and gave it to the shopkeeper when I finished. It's in the back of the store on the second shelf. It will be the only book without a name."</p><p>As if she thought there was any way Rowan would say no. "Of course, Fireheart."</p><p>He unwound his arm from her shoulder and pushed open the glass door to the bookstore, the little bell chiming as he entered. He went straight to the back, smiling politely to the old shopkeeper as he passed her. The bookstore was small but cozy, the carpets in the back scattered with inviting beanbags. He scanned the back bookshelf, and his eyes fell upon a book bound by staples, fraying at the edges. There was no name on it. He pulled it out and took it to the front desk, asking the graying woman for the price.</p><p>She smiled at him, saying, "Take it for free. The little girl who wrote it would have wanted that."</p><p>Rowan smiled. She had no idea how right she was. He thanked her and headed back out to join Aelin, flipping to the front page as he walked. He skimmed through it, reading the first couple of lines. A small smile formed on his face as he did. He would have to finish reading this at some point. It started with, Once upon a time, in a kingdom long since burned to ash, there lived a young princess who loved her kingdom.....very much.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Today was my first day of in-person school which was WAY better than online, but it also means i will have less time to write. Luckily, I have this entire fic pre-written, so that won't be a problem, but the soulmate fic is a different story. I have a vague outline and I think it is going to be about 8 chapters with 2k words each..... but don't hold me to that! I have a HUGE test coming up at the end of October which I'm really nervous for so I have to prepare for that, and I have a bunch of other stuff going on, but I promise to try my best to write often! Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Also, I joined tumblr the other day (same username) and will take prompts and suggestion for oneshots! Stay safe!</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aelin had tears in her eyes as Rowan carefully placed the fragile book into her hands. She quickly wiped them away, tucking the book into her tote bag. "Let's go, I have somewhere else I wanna show you," she told him, taking his calloused hand in hers.</p><p>The book had meant more to her than Rowan knew. After reading all of those books when she was little, her future career dreams had changed. She had long ago given up on becoming a doctor, the idea thoroughly dismissed from her head by Arobynn. But a writer, that was something she thought she could do. So she worked in secret, staying up late into the night, writing in a journal she had pawned off a kid at school in exchange for a pack of gum.</p><p>But, like everything else she loved, Arobynn ripped it away. She had finally finished and had made a copy of it for Ben. But when she went to show it to him, she found Arobynn waiting instead. He had snatched it from her hands, tearing it into pieces before throwing it into the crackling fire. He reminded her that her only future was with him, doing his bidding, before beating the message into her. As soon as he finished, she snuck from the house, stumbling through the streets in pain all the way to Adarlan's Bookshop, where she stashed the original copy into the back, saving it in the hopes that it would help someone the way other books had helped her. She had fled back to the keep and never returned to the bookshop, Arobynn making her get all of her books online from then on.</p><p>They went and got lunch at the docks, where they were seated right by the water, and the waitress mistook them as a couple much to Aelin's embarrassment. She ordered lobster mac and cheese and Rowan ordered trout. She had sworn as a little girl that she would never eat fish, but Rowan coerced her into trying it. She had cringed as he brought the fork to her lips but had ended up loving it, and eating large portions of his, much to Rowan's dismay. She even ordered her own after finishing her mac and cheese.</p><p>After stuffing themselves, Aelin brought them to Nesryn's family's bakery where they made polite small talk with her father. They bought a pear cobbler which Aelin proceeded to devour as she force-fed Rowan bites, complaining about his lack of a sweet tooth.</p><p>They meandered through the packed streets of Adarlan, stopping in cute shops. Aelin even dragged him into a small boutique so she could try on some dresses. She modeled them for him, strutting up and down the back of the shop, laughing at his pained expression.</p><p>"Come on, Buzzard, live a little," she told him, placing a ridiculous top hat on his head before taking a selfie of the two of them. She had a bright smile on her face, and though Rowan was scowling, you could see the laughter tugging on his lips and filling his deep green eyes. Aelin quickly set it as her lock screen when Rowan wasn't looking. A constant reminder of her one constant. Her best friend.</p><p>They stopped at a men's clothing store so Rowan could get some clothes that fit him. Not that Aelin was complaining about the tight shirts he had been wearing. They certainly hadn't been hard on the eyes. Thinking about it again, Aelin decided it was probably better if he got looser clothes. She didn't want to risk her doing anything she would regret, making the biggest mistake of her life. And her self-control had started fraying at the edges. Yes, it was definitely better that he wore looser clothes.</p><p>Aelin wasn't sure when these feelings developed, whether it was this morning when he got her childhood book when they laughed and joked all day, whether it was last night as she had slept, or if it was all the way back in Mistward when they had first gotten over their feud. All she knew is that she was in deep shit. She had caught unrequited feelings for her best friend. Gods, she was such a cliche.</p><p>"Come, let's go to the market," Aelin suggested, dispelling those thoughts from her head. They would only lead to heartbreak. She couldn't take anymore. She wouldn't go down that path. She wouldn't lose her love, not again.</p><p>She led him through the masses of people, weaving their way into the main street, closed off from cars for the weekend farmers' market. She stopped at a fruit stall, filling a bag with all the ripe in-season fruit. Then she dragged him to her favorite chocolate stall, buying several boxes of delectable chocolates and caramel, causing Rowan to roll his eyes. She just handed him the bags to add on the ones he was carrying from earlier.</p><p>As they left the food section of the market, Rowan dragged her straight through the chachka section, refusing to let her blow money on tourist shit. He grumbled under his breath something about having lived here for 11 years, but Aelin just ignored him, eyeing the overpriced keychains engraved with names.</p><p>Once they left the tourist trap, they entered the plant section. The stalls were full of a wide selection of flowers, assorted bouquets displayed on the make-shift tables. Young women wandered around the area with baskets full of flowers to sell. Aelin's eyes caught on a stall of deep red roses, where a young man was buying one for his date. Her heart swelled.</p><p>Aelin turned to Rowan, mischief glinting in her eyes. "If you were a gentleman, you'd buy me--"</p><p>Rowan's face had become devoid of any emotion, his eyes chasms of pain. He tracked a young flower girl as she pranced across the market, selling the peonies from the intricately woven basket dangling off her thin arms with an effortless smile. Young, Beautiful, long billowing black hair, and-- oh gods.</p><p>Shit. She should not have brought him here. Lyria had worked in the bustling flower market of Doranelle. She'd been a poor flower girl selling the flowers she had grown in her garden until Rowan had spotted her and taken an immediate attraction to her. A fairy tale story. Rowan's perfect life. Until it had all been taken from him while doing errands to win back Maeve's favor. Until there had been a break-in and she was slaughtered along with her unborn baby. Rowan's unborn baby.</p><p>Aelin choked on the words that wanted to spill out. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she played with her hands nervously, grinding her teeth together. Rowan's eyes were still attached to the young flower girl as she spun around and laughed with her friend, her eyes filling up with light, as Rowan's was distinguished. His light was taken from him. Just like Aelin's was taken from her.</p><p>"I didn't deserve her," Rowan whispered so quietly, Aelin almost didn't hear. His voice was hoarse, his words catching in his throat as he swallowed back sobs.</p><p>Aelin's heart broke for him. She gulped, breathing deeply. Both of them were still healing. Both of them were still hurt. But his words were simply pure, honest, heart-wrenching truth. They were together on this journey. To whatever end.</p><p>"I didn't deserve Sam," She responded with equal quietness, her voice quivering. A tear escaped her eyes.</p><p>Finally, Rowan turned towards her. Their gazes met, and Aelin's heart shattered all over again. She would do anything to get rid of the agony in his eyes. Anything. He just reached out and gently brushed her tear away, his hand dropping back to his side.</p><p>Aelin gripped it firmly and started pulling him away from the market. "Come, I have something I want to show you."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I like just realized how angsty this fic is......... like it is a lot of hopeless pining and tears and regret but I promise it has a happy ending! Also if anyone has any prompts for like some sort of Halloween-themed oneshots please let me know!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rowan was still wrapped up in memories of Lyria as he stood still as a statue in the shadows, watching Aelin's back as she finished up her shopping. He felt like shit. Today was supposed to be Aelin's stress-free, happy day, and he had gone and ruined it. He couldn't help it. That girl looked just like Lyria. She was a painful reminder of his mistakes, and not only did it bring his suppressed grief bubbling back up, but this newfound constant guilt. His feelings for Aelin were having a much bigger impact on his life than expected, but despite that, they only grew.</p><p>Aelin joined him in the shadows silently, bearing several new bags. SHe didn't say anything, didn't force him to talk. She just handed a brown paper bag to him. He took it from her and pulled its contents out, inspecting the chocolate chip cookie. He mumbled his thanks quietly before nibbling on the cookie numbly, ignoring the cloying taste as it went down his throat. Aelin nodded shallowly in response before turning and walking away from the market. Rowan took that as his cue to follow her.</p><p>She leads him through back, dark, shady alleys for several minutes before ushering him through a banged-up graffiti-covered door. He followed listlessly as she climbed up a rusty ladder, moving through the dark. His weight caused it to creak and swing violently hinting that it hadn't been used in years. When he reached the top, he spotted Aelin perched on one of the rafters, her feet dangling off the edge as she munched on her own cookie. Rowan clambered across them and sat next to her.</p><p>The view took his breath away. They were high up in the air, right by a gilded dome. Under them lay rows upon rows of red cushioned seats, garnished with golden embroidery. In the front of the grand chamber was a large stage, with velvet curtains half drawn over it. You could see into the abandoned orchestra pit if you leaned forward, but Rowan was too scared of tipping over and plummeting the large distance between there and the floor. His eyes swept over the room once more, noting how eerily quiet and dark it was. This seemed like a place that should be full of light, of music, of joy.</p><p>Aelin seemed to feel the same, for her face was overcome with sadness, a look of mourning no doubt for her memories of her. "This used to be one of my favorite places in the whole entire world," she said, her quiet words echoing through the silent hall.</p><p>Sunlight encroached on their hiding spot, streaming through from the hatch they had entered from. It lit up the room, revealing signs of abandonment Rowan hadn't noticed before. A grand piano left open, pushed to the back of the stage. Various programs left askew on seats. Half-empty popcorn boxes overturned on the floor. Un-tied ropes dangling backstage. A place of once-great beauty, now reduced to storage.</p><p>Aelin continued, looking around the room as if in search of the happy place she remembered. "Arobynn had had season tickets, so I would come any chance I got. The nights I didn't feel like dressing up or being seen, or maybe the nights he had a job for me and I only had an hour to spare, I would creep up here and watch and listen from my private hide-out."</p><p>Rowan finished his cookie, the only sound being the crunch of his chewing as he let Aelin reminisce about the past. It seemed like they were both taking a trip down memory lane today. Rowan wondered whether she had ever gone here with Sam. He figured this whole city would be a reminder of him. They grew up here together. And Rowan went off just at seeing a girl selling flowers. Ugh. Aelin was so strong. He felt terrible.</p><p>"I've never seen an orchestra-- or theater like this, crafted around sound and luxury. Even in Doranelle City, the theaters or amphitheaters are ancient, outdoor stone benches or even just steps, built at the beginning of the city. They are still beautiful, but this-- this is something else," Rowan mused, speaking for real for the first time since the flower market. He could see the relief flood through Aelin, the regret in her eyes. She blamed herself for his sadness. She blamed herself for everything, carried too much on her shoulders. Rowan didn't know how to help her, but he knew he wanted to carry some of her burdens.</p><p>"There's no place like this anywhere, perhaps even in Terrasan. It's much too underappreciated," Aelin responded with a sad smile. A rare thing, and now it's gone, lost to the dust.</p><p>"Then you should make people appreciate it. Bring awareness to it. Start an arts column in the Orynth Times once you get your company back," he suggested, not being able to bear the sadness on her face.</p><p>"Maybe," she sighed, not looking like the prospect was likely. She shook her head, dismissing the idea. "This place has been closed for months, and yet I swear I can still hear the music floating through the air."</p><p>Rowan knew what she meant. He had never been here while it was open, but he could see the image clearly, could hear the phantom orchestra playing as the large audience clapped.</p><p>"I wish you could have heard it--I wish you could have been there to hear Pytor conduct the Stygian Suite. Sometimes, I feel like I'm still sitting down in that box, thirteen years old and weeping from the sheer glory of it," she whispered, as though confessing her deepest secrets.</p><p>"You cried?" Rowan asked. Normally, he would come up with some taunt, but this moment seemed too serious, to somber to make a joke out of. Memories flashed through his head. All of the times music had changed her, had affected her mood, her skill. Music was a part of her soul, that much was evident.</p><p>"The final movement, every damn time. I would go back to the keep and the music would ring through my ears for days upon end. That's why I started to play the piano-- so I could go home and night and make my poor attempt at replicating it," she admitted, her eyes dancing with the memories.</p><p>"There's a piano right there," Rowan said, eager to hear it.</p><p>They went down, and Aelin set up the piano under the light of a single working stage lamp Rowan had found backstage. She warned him about his ears, which he just laughed off, and started playing.</p><p>The piece was breath-taking. The heart-wrenching music floated through the room, telling the story of Aelin's life. It was upbeat, yet somber. She played in honor of Sam, of Nehemia, of her parents, even of Lyria. Of all the loss and pain. Yet the music also conveyed the laughter and love in her life, the happiness. Rowan's eyes were silver with tears as she ended it, panting hard.</p><p>His throat bobbed as he took a moment to collect himself. "Show me-- show me how you did that."</p><p>And so she did. And they played for a long while until someone came to inspect where the mysterious noise was coming from.</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aelin was emotionally and physically exhausted. Yesterday had brought up some painful memories for her. Walking through the city and visiting all of those places from her childhood had caused some long-forgotten feelings to bubble back up. And, on top of all that, her epiphany about her feeling for Rowan. It was all too much for one day. The one place she was too chicken to visit was pressing down, a heavy weight on her chest. Sam's grave. Arobynn had given her the address back when she did the fight for him, but Aelin wasn't sure if she could face the daunting task just yet.</p><p>When she and Rowan got home, they had blown off steam by sparring on the roof. It seemed like they had both bottled up a lot of feelings since they had gone at it for 30 minutes. Rowan had won, of course. Despite having learned how to fight beforehand, and being trained by him for months, Rowan was the better fighter. She could beat just about anyone else though. A day later, Aelin was lounging on the faux leather sofa with a fuzzy pink blanket draped across her muscular body. She had her hands wrapped firmly around a mug of steaming hot cocoa, taking tentative sips as it cooled.</p><p>"Isn't it a little hot to be drinking cocoa?" Rowan asked, plopping down at the edge of the couch and lifting her feet into his lap. He tugged gently at the blanket, bringing the ends of it onto himself.</p><p>Aelin huffed a laugh like that was the craziest thing she had ever heard, pulling the blanket away from him and back over herself. "You can drink hot chocolate in any weather!" She announced. She placed her mug on a cork coaster laying on the polished wood side table before grabbing a tissue from the box. After crumpling it up into a ball, she tossed it at Rowan's face. He growled indignantly and started tickling her feet mercilessly. Aelin started shrieking, smacking his arms harshly. When that didn't work, she started thrashing and accidentally kicked Rowan in the face.</p><p>His hands flew to his sharp jaw and he sent Aelin a pointed glare. She just burst out laughing. "Serves you right, you rutting bastard!" she exclaimed, rubbing her sore muscles. "I have bruises from where you hit me yesterday?" Aelin pulled up the blue Doranelle Coffee shirt that she had stolen from Rowan and gestured to the black and blue blob forming directly above her navel. Rowan's eyes darted away, and he coughed awkwardly. She pulled back down the shirt, letting it swallow her.</p><p>Rowan winced slightly, yet opened his mouth to protest nonetheless. But, before he could say anything, Aedion walked into the living room with a harsh expression on his face. "I heard shrieking. Who hit my cousin?" he growled to Rowan. When both of them clammed up, Aedion narrowed his Ashryver eyes at Rowan. "I'm going to beat your ass," he declared.</p><p>"Umm, am I the only one who remembers Rowan being the one who did the ass-kicking? And you tearing your stitches?" Aelin asked incredulously, preparing herself to have to convince Aedion to back down. Rowan chuckled at her snipe and her heart swelled at the sound. Shit. She was so whipped.</p><p>"No, not by fighting. We are playing charades," Aedion announced, taking a seat on the matching armchair across from them.</p><p>"Ooh, intense," Aelin squealed, amused at the proposition. This would be interesting, and if she could get away with recording it, would give her tons of blackmail material for both of them. She would never have to buy her own chocolates again. She smirked internally at the idea, thrusting her hips into the air to wrestle her phone out of her back pocket.</p><p>"No way," Rowan said, shooting down the idea. Aelin pouted at him, but he just shook his head vehemently.</p><p>"Come on, man," Aedion begged.</p><p>Aelin turned back to Rowan and raised a perfectly shaped golden-blond eyebrow at him. Or are you scared you'll lose, Buzzard?</p><p>He grumbled something under his breath before conceding. Never, princess. You're on.</p><p>She clapped in celebration, and Rowan chuckled. You're certainly excited about this!</p><p>Aelin just smiled knowingly. Aedion shook his head. "It will never not be weird how you guys do that. It's like twin telepathy, except you're not twins. Or even related."</p><p>"Wait, we only have three people," Aelin pointed out, ignoring Aedion's comment. "How will that work?"</p><p>"Well, one person will choose the word, one person will act it out, and the other will guess," Aedion suggested.</p><p>"Yeah, that'll work! Let's get started!" Rowan said, clapping loudly to accentuate each word.</p><p>Aelin snorted in an unladylike manner. "Now who's excited?" she asked, raising a teasing eyebrow at him. Rowan just sighed exasperatedly, running her hands through his silver hair, messing it up. "Okay, okay. Rowan, since you're so excited about this, you can act first! I'll give you a word, come here."</p><p>"Nope. I don't trust you. You are either going to give me some impossible word or something wildly inappropriate," he refused, crossing his arms over his chest. Oh, he knew her so well.</p><p>Aelin smiled innocently in response. "I have no idea what you are talking about! Just come here," she protested, becoming him closer.</p><p>Rowan rubbed his tattooed temples and leaned towards her. Their breaths mingled for one tense moment, and Aelin had to force herself to look away from his plump lips. It would be so easy to just lean forward. He turned his head, and her lips brushed against the shell of his ear. "AHHHHH" she shouted into his ear once it got close enough. Rowan leaped back to his end of the couch, covering his ear with a look of horror painted across his face. Sometimes it was just too easy. Aelin burst into a fit of laughter. A light flashed through the room as she took a photo of his expression.</p><p>"Priceless," she announced. Rowan and Aedion just looked at her in disbelief, eyes wide and jaws dropped. Oh, this was going to be fun.</p>
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<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rowan bolted into a sitting position as a soft creak came from the window. He whipped his head towards it just in time to see the ends of a golden blond head of hair disappear into the streets below. He had always been a light sleeper, but it was coming in handy now. Rowan wasn't sure why or where Aelin had been sneaking to every night since he had gotten there, but he woke up every night. She wasn't as sly as she thought, though most people wouldn't have caught her. He was sure she didn't know he knew, since every morning right before dawn, she would slip back in and slide into bed.</p><p>Rowan wasn't quite sure what to do about this. Each evening, he would stay awake late into the night, staring into the pitch-black room debating whether or not to go after her. He would only give up once any chance of him finding her trail disappeared. She consistently left her phone on the bedside table, a fact that infuriated Rowan to no end. On one hand, he didn't want to invade her privacy by following her somewhere she didn't want him to be. On the other, he was worried about her safety. They were supposed to be a team, working together to overcome the challenges they faced. He also had a sneaking suspicion she was working on getting the reports from the police station, something he was determined to help her with. Aelin had been reluctant to let either him or Aedion help her, not wanting to put them in danger. It made Rowan's heart ache just thinking about it. She was willing to put herself in life-threatening situations just to protect them. She had been alone for so long, had gotten so used to doing everything herself. On top of that, she had either lost or been let down by the few people she had let close to her in the past. She was scared to lose them too. Rowan wouldn't let that happen.</p><p>He had to admit, he had another, slightly more selfish reason for wanting to follow her. Rowan's heart clenched from being away from her. He didn't know how he had gone a couple of months a whole continent away from her. Just leaving her for a couple of hours was painful for him. Gods, he was so whipped. To make that worse, Rowan didn't know if she was in danger; he didn't know if she needed protection. His breath started to come heavier, his throat constricting. He didn't even try to stop himself as he scrambled out of the bed, leaving the comforting warm bubble of his blanket.</p><p>The frigid air hit him like a whip, and he jolted awake, all grogginess gone. Rowan shuffled into the closet to find a shirt, his feet recoiling from the chill of the wooden floor panels. He knelt and pulled open his drawer, pointedly ignoring the flimsy nightclothes Aelin had discarded earlier in favor of her athletic clothes. He sighed and threw on a random shirt, not bothering to look at it. He would have to hurry up if he wanted to be able to track Aelin.</p><p>Rowan pulled on a pair of sneakers, tying the laces with no regard for effectiveness, and grabbed his phone from his bedside table, his thick fingers fumbling as he tried to unplug it. He sprinted towards the open window. He slipped out, clinging to the edge of the building with his fingertips. The cold Adarlan summer air engulfed him, causing him to shiver. He was still getting used to the cold weather. He was used to the humid and muggy summers of Doranelle. Rowan immediately regretted not grabbing a sweatshirt. Too late now.</p><p>After peering down to check for civilians, Rowan let his grip slacken, and dropped onto the concrete with a thump. He landed gracefully in a crouch position, and stood up slowly, inspecting the streets for any trace of Aelin. Nothing. Rowan sighed out of his nose. She was too careful for her own good. He headed down the one way street towards the center of the city, hoping to pick up some sign of where she went. The memory foam soles of his Adidas running shoes absorbed most of the sound from the steps, allowing him to move near silently through the dark streets of the city.</p><p>He reached the end of the avenue and came to the intersection. There were two streets he could go down. The one to the left was a dark alley with wretched scents wafting down it, the right a wide street lit up by lanterns illuminating various restaurants' outdoor seating. Knowing Aelin, she probably went down the latter. He turned the flashlight on his phone on and crept down the alley, praying that his instincts weren't wrong.</p><p>Turned out, he didn't have to pray for long. Just 20 paces down the street, his eyes found Aelin's. The relief that washed over him and finding her didn't last for long as he took in the rest of the scene. His eyes swept over the silhouettes around her and his heart stopped.</p>
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<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So I totally meant to post the last chapter yesterday but I'm dumb so I just completely forgot... sorry!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aelin sucked in a breath as she saw Rowan emerge from the shadows. She hadn't expected him. She tensed under his assessing gaze, worry filling his eyes. She could see the plan forming in his head. He was here to help her. She had thought she was going to die. She might still. No matter how much she wanted to, she couldn't say anything to him, couldn't signal anything to him. The sharp sting of the cold blade pressing against her jugular served as a constant reminder of that. Aelin resisted the urge to spit. The metallic tangy taste of blood filled her mouth from where she bit down on the inside of her cheek to keep from screaming.</p><p>"Whitethorn, how nice of you to join us," Lorcan said. His cold, calculating voice had Aelin suppressing shivers. He was supposed to have been Rowan's friend. Then again, could you trust anyone under Maeve's spell? Trusting Rowan had almost killed her. And here she was again, on the verge of death at the hand of another one of her goonies. Gods, she hated that bitch. Maeve was going to pay, along with Arobynn and everyone else who had ever wronged her. Because now, she knew Rowan and Aedion would be right along with her.</p><p>"Release her, Lorcan," Rowan commanded in an impressive attempt at a calm and collected tone. If Aelin hadn't known him so well, she wouldn't have been able to notice the slight quake in his deep baritone voice. Sadly, Lorcan had known him for even longer.</p><p>"I don't think I will just yet. You see, you have something I want," he said. Despite not being able to turn and see his face, Aelin could practically hear the smirk on his cruel, cunning face.</p><p>Rowan cocked an eyebrow into the air, inviting him to proceed. When Lorcan stayed silent, Rowan let out a long-suffering sigh. "Just spit it out already, Salvaterre," he urged, his face a picture of disdain, despite the fear and worry Aelin knew was waiting just below the surface.</p><p>Lorcan huffed a humorless laugh, the rough sound sending chills down her spine. "You know what I'm talking about, Rowan. Hand over the papers," he ordered. Lorcan released his crushing grip on her wrist to hold out a waiting hand towards Rowan but left the sharp edge of the blade pressed into her neck. A flick of his wrist, a slight movement from Aelin, and she would be dead in seconds, her throat split, and blood spilled across the dark cobblestone street.</p><p>Rowan asked, his voice full of mock disappointment, "And why would I do that, Lorcan? Even if I had them, which I don't, do you really think I would just hand over the papers to Maeve that easily?" For, they both knew that Lorcan was just doing Maeve's dirty work. Any information they let slip would go directly to her ears. So, they would have to keep their mouths shut. She looked pleadingly to Rowan, hoping he got her message. Don't tell him anything. She knew he couldn't respond, so she would just have to pray he would keep his lips sealed. His plump, juicy lips. The lips Aelin so desperately wanted to-- gods dammit. Now was so not the time.</p><p>"I'm not here on Maeve's orders. I left on my own. She didn't know," Lorcan bit out, his tone sour. Rowan and Aelin shared an incredulous look at that. Like hell she didn't know.</p><p>It seemed Rowan shared the same sentiment, for he asked, shaking his head in disappointment. "Now, now, Lorcan, don't lie to your old friend. You're expecting me to believe you when you tell me that you, Maeve's most loyal employee, left in search of the same thing she wants and isn't acting under her orders?" he asked Lorcan, his eyebrows raised so high that Aelin was surprised they didn't fly right off his head.</p><p>"You know nothing of what you speak about," Lorcan seethed. "And, not that it's any of your business, I am doing this for Maeve, just not under her orders. I'm not going to be giving the papers to her. I'm going to destroy them. Maeve has already become greedy enough as CEO of Doranelle News, I'm not going to let her destroy herself running Orynth Times on top of that."</p><p>Rowan looked at him skeptically. "So, in your own, twisted way, you think you're helping her?"</p><p>Lorcan chose to ignore that comment. "Hand over the papers, Whitethorn."</p><p>"I already told you, I don't have them," Rowan said, putting his hands up.</p><p>"You may not have them on you, but you know where they are," Lorcan hissed.</p><p>"While that may be true, there is no way in hell I will be telling you," Rowan conceded.</p><p>Lorcan pressed the dagger deeper into Aelin's throat, drawing a small pool of blood. She bit down on her tongue to hold back a cry of pain and watched Rowan suck in a breath. She felt the thick warm liquid trickle down her neck and onto her chest in sharp contrast to the stinging air, staining her sweatshirt.</p><p>"You are foolish, Rowan. You know nothing of the bigger picture, letting what your heart is telling you blind you to reality." Aelin had no idea what he was talking about, but she could tell it was getting to Rowan. "One day, you will pay for it."</p><p>Lorcan released his grip on Aelin, and she spun out of his grip, unsheathing her daggers in one fell swoop. Rowan simultaneously leaped towards them, reaching for Aelin, but Lorcan had already disappeared into the shadows.</p><p>Aelin flung herself into Rowan's arms, burying her face into his warm neck. He engulfed her in a hug, holding on tight. She felt hot, salty tears land on her scalp, and she pulled back, looking deep into his familiar pine green eyes.</p><p>"Stop. We are safe. We are together. He is gone. Everything is okay," Aelin assured him.</p><p>"I-I failed you, Aelin," he said, his voice breaking.</p><p>Her heart broke at his regretful, self-loathing expression. "No. Don't say that."</p><p>"But I did! I let him near you! You have no idea how close I was to breaking. 30 more seconds and I would have spilled every secret, every plan, just to have you safely back in my arms," Rowan admitted, tears falling freely onto his cheeks.</p><p>"You could never fail me," she said, her voice thick with emotion. He didn't meet her eyes. She cupped his cheek with her soft hands, forcing him to look at her. "You hear me? Never doubt that."</p><p>Rowan pulled her back into him, their bodies flush against each other. She wrapped her arms around his waist, breathing his scent in deeply.</p><p>"I love you, Aelin," Rowan said, his voice muffled by her hair. Aelin froze. He did. Just not in the way she wanted him to. The way she needed him to. Shit. She was in love with her best friend.</p><p>"I love you too," she whispered, the words ringing true.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This was not how Rowan wanted to be spending his morning. After last night's disaster, they had gone straight back home. He had fished the first aid kit out of the closet and patched up her neck with the few supplies that were left. They would have to go get a new kit, for their stores had been severely depleted by both Aedion and Aelin's reckless injuries. People said they were two sides of the same coin, and Rowan had never seen what they were talking about before. Now, he thought he might get it. They were both stupidly reckless with no sense of self-preservation.</p><p>After making sure the cut was shallow and harmless, Aelin had changed back into her nightgown and crawled into bed. She had been fast asleep by the time her head hit the pillow, but Rowan had more trouble. He had stayed awake late into the night, her words reverberating through his head. I love you. The words that filled his heart with joy. The words that killed all of his hope. The words that could make or break the world. I love you.</p><p>Gods, Rowan would do anything to hear her say them to him again, even if she didn't mean them like he wished she did. Because she didn't. And Rowan was worried that those three fatal words would destroy their entire friendship. Why did he have to be the idiot that caught feelings for his best friend? The fool that fell in love with her. Gods, this hell would never end. Rowan had laid awake, staring at the white ceiling, till the sun crept into the sky, illuminating the room and erasing any chance of sleep.</p><p>He had dragged himself out of bed and gone into the kitchen to prepare breakfast. And now, running on zero hours of sleep and his mind heavy with thoughts of lost friendship, he was expected to put up with Chaol. Not only that, Aelin wanted him to be civil towards him. She may have forgiven him for calling a monster, but Rowan wasn't going to let it go so easily. He had hurt her. A lot. And it was taking every ounce of self-control he had to pay attention to the useless bullshit Chaol was spouting and restrain himself from knocking him out.</p><p>Aelin seemed to sense this and placed her hand gently against the small of his back, reminding him to stay where he was. They needed this information, no matter how boring it may have been. Chaol had been shown up at the house a few minutes after Aelin emerged from the bedroom late in the day, and had been droning on about government plans and new regulation ever since.</p><p>When he finally finished, he decided to stay for small talk-- much to Rowan's disgruntlement. "So, I'm assuming you're the infamous Rowan Whitethorn?" Chaol asked. Rowan didn't know what it was, but something about his tone bothered him.</p><p>He nodded curtly, not trusting himself to speak. He was sure if he started to say something, he would end up cursing Chaol to oblivion, and he was really trying to stay on Aelin's good side right now. She was already mad at him for being a 'territorial bastard' last night.</p><p>"Aelin has told me a lot about you," Chaol said, his voice hinted at something else but Rowan couldn't detect what. He looked to Aelin for a clue, but if she knew what he meant, she showed no signs.</p><p>"Aelin has told me all about your conversations," he sniped in response, not being able to help himself. By the wince on Chaol's face, he seemed to understand what Rowan was talking about.</p><p>"I--"</p><p>"I think you should go, Chaol. Rowan and I have matters to attend to," Aelin dismissed him coldly, trying to end this before anything escalated.</p><p>"Of course," Chaol said, dipping his head shallowly in acknowledgment. "Nesryn and I have some things to do as well."</p><p>Aelin led him to the door and Rowan took a seat on the couch, not wanting to make matters worse. She joined him once Chaol had left, groaning loudly as she flopped down next to him, propping her feet up on his legs. Their close proximity made Rowan's heart skip a beat, his pulse racing, his breath quickening. Aelin was well trained and could read people well, but if she noticed his tells, she gave no indication of it. He started mindlessly running his hands over her legs, massaging her to focus himself.</p><p>"Fucking Chaol. He did absolutely nothing and I still want to beat the crap out of him," Aelin complained, throwing her head back. Rowan could think of another way to make her do that, with his mouth down-- rutting hell, Rowan was going to have to get his mind out of the gutter. This was Aelin he was thinking about. He slapped himself internally, making a note to take care of himself later when he was alone.</p><p>"Believe me, I get it. I still can't believe he called you a monster," Rowan exclaimed, his voice hiding his emotions surprisingly well.</p><p>Aelin commended him, "Yeah, you controlled yourself much better than I expected." Of course he did. He had gotten a lot of self-control practice as of late. A vivid image of the particularly tiny nightgown Aelin had worn last night--or at least the portion of it she was in-- flashed through his head. "Though I've got to be honest, I was kind of hoping you would throw at least one punch," she continued, looking at him wistfully.</p><p>He chuckled. "And here I was, going and being all proud of myself for not at least yelling at that bastard." He sighed.</p><p>Aelin returned his laugh with a wry smile. "Chaol isn't as bad as I've made him out to be. I'm just holding a dumb grudge. Don't make him pay for it," Aelin scolded him. Her pain-filled turquoise eyes told a different story. This wasn't some dumb grudge. He had hurt her. Bad. And Rowan didn't know if she would ever truly trust Chaol again. But he could tell that she didn't want to talk about that now, if ever.</p><p>"We all know how petty you are, princess," he agreed, steering the conversation in the opposite direction of his thoughts. She stuck out her tongue at him. Her arms were pinned down by his own where they rested on her legs, but he was sure if she could, she would have flipped him a particular finger. Rowan laughed, his deep rumble vibrating through Aelin's legs, causing her to shiver. It didn't go unnoticed by him, but he didn't let himself think about it. He didn't want to give himself false hope.</p><p>"Ugh, I need a drink to distract myself from today," Aelin moaned. She peeled his hands off of her thighs-- they had somehow made their way up there without Rowan's permission-- coughing awkwardly. She stood up and held out a hand for Rowan.</p><p>He took it, clearing his throat as he stood up. "Um... I think I saw a bar around the corner. It should be crowded enough that no one will recognize us," he suggested, his voice hoarse. He needed to get out of this house. He wasn't used to being pent up inside one place for this long.</p><p>"Sure."</p>
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<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I really struggled writing this chapter. I had know idea how to write a lot of this... hope it is okay! This chapter ended up being like 1500 words when most of them are usually like 1000-1200 because i was avoiding writing the actual content of the chapter and just wrote like a page of her getting ready... oops. </p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aelin frantically searched through her closet for something appropriate to wear. All of her clothes were either too casual or too formal. Aelin hadn't been able to do something like this in well-- let's just say a long time. Finally, she settled on a pair of tight high waisted jean shorts that she partnered with a small black tube top. She stuffed herself into them with a sigh. The shirt was small on her. She had gotten it when she was 16 behind Arobynn's back to impress Sam. Gods, that was such a long time ago. Tears started to prick at her eyes but she wiped them away before they could fall and ruin her make-up. After adjusting the top a little bit, she grabbed black combat boots and left her closet. To hell with looking good, she had to take precautions, and heels would not help her in a fight.</p><p>Aelin walked to the front door, snatching a rumpled black jacket off the couch and wrestling it over her shoulders. She kneeled by the door and shoved her feet into the boots, tying the laces tightly. She jumped at the sound of approaching footsteps but turned around to see that it was just Rowan. It seemed like he had opted for a more casual look, wearing the same black pants he had been earlier. He had traded his faded basketball jersey for a tight navy blue shirt that made his muscular figure infuriatingly visible. Aelin had to tear her eyes away and force herself to look at his face. She noticed he had frozen, his eyes raking over her figure, lingering on her bust and legs. Aelin pulled at the hem of her shorts self-consciously and wrapped the jacket tighter around her to cover her cleavage. Despite that, she couldn't fight a small smirk but she crushed it immediately. He was probably just uncomfortable seeing her like that. Just like he was uncomfortable seeing her in her nightgowns. But that doesn't mean she couldn't enjoy it. Stop, she chided herself. It was unhealthy.</p><p>Clearing her throat awkwardly, Aelin pushed past him and stalked towards the drawer where they stored their weapons. She pulled out a couple of sheathed polished daggers, tossing one to Rowan, who caught it by the grip expertly. She shoved a couple into the inner pockets of her jacket and another up her dress. Rowan slid his into the giant pockets in his pants and grabbed his keys off the coffee table.</p><p>Aelin and Rowan left the apartment with a yell to Aedion. "We're going out, be back late. Don't wait up!" They slammed the front door shut and sprinted to the elevator before Aedion could drag them back inside, laughing hysterically the whole way. Aelin dragged Rowan by his hand towards the staircase, too impatient to wait for the elevator. She was going out for fun. It had been too long since she had done something like this. Stress had been following her everywhere these days. It was a constant weight on her back. Aelin needed to blow off steam, especially after the meeting with Chaol earlier. Gods, she didn't even want to think about it. He hadn't even done anything wrong, she just, ughhhh. She couldn't get over what he had said to her. She wasn't even angry. No. The real reason she was upset was that deep down, she knew he was right. Monster, he had called her. It's your fault.</p><p>Aelin pushed the thought away, turning back towards Rowan. Tonight was a night of fun, of distraction. She wasn't going to think about Chaol. She was going to go to a bar with her best friend and get very drunk and probably regret it in the morning. Her best friend. The one she is in love with. Gods, her life was a mess. She wasn't going to deal with that tonight. Or maybe ever, knowing herself. Master of procrastination.</p><p>"Race you," Aelin called, already taking off down the stairs. She heard Rowan curse, followed by fast footsteps approaching quickly. She swung around the corner, leaping over multiple stairs onto the next platform. When she finally reached the ground floor, she leaned back against the dirty gray wall, breathing hard.</p><p>Rowan joined her quickly, panting. "Cheater," he breathed out. Aelin just threw him a cheeky smile.</p><p>"Come on, let's go."</p><p>She pushed open the front door of the apartment building, a cool breeze rushing in to greet her, sending chills down her neck. Rowan noticed and wrapped a strong arm around her shoulders. Then the shivers weren't just from the cold. The sun was setting, but the street lights hadn't turned on yet. The streets were lit dimly, and Aelin and Rowan's shadows loomed over the sidewalks. Aelin snuggled closer into Rowan's side, wrapping her own arm around his waist. She told herself it was just for the warmth. She didn't even pretend to believe it.</p><p>Eventually, they reached the bar, and Rowan held the door open for her. She stepped inside, thanking him quietly. She did a quick sweep of the place with her eyes, taking in the poorly lit room. Despite being fairly run down, only a few seats were open, and she was met with a cacophony of voices. Strange. She had lived around the corner for years and never been here, yet it was really popular. That said something about her life. Gods, she was boring. Sighing, Aelin went and took a seat at the bar, patting the free stool next to her. The cold metal pressed against her bare thighs, but she ignored it. She wasn't going to let little things bother her tonight. Rowan ordered them drinks, and Aelin downed hers in one gulp as soon as it arrived.</p><p>She didn't miss the disapproving look Rowan shot her, but she ignored it. She was going to have fun tonight. She wasn't going to let her worries stop her. And if she needed to be buzzed to let herself do that, so be it. Rowan took a small sip of his drink but said nothing. Good. She didn't want to fight with him.</p><p>Aelin spent the next hour finding different ways to coax Rowan into drinking. Several drinking games, way too many shots, and a lot of secrets later, Aelin and Rowan were pressed against each other, bouncing to the music on the dance floor. Aelin's head was swirling and she couldn't wipe the smile off her face. They moved their bodies in time with the beat, grinding against each other. All of a sudden, their faces were way to close. They froze in unison, their breaths mingling. Her eyes traced the perimeter of his lips, and when she glanced at his, she found them doing the same. Her common sense was basically nonexistent, but she didn't care. Before she knew what she was doing, she found herself leaning in slowly, her lips coming closer and closer to his. Their noses brushed, and she could almost feel his lips against her own despite the centimeter space between them. She lurched forward to close the space, not wanting to wait anymore, closing her eyes and--</p><p>"Celaena," a voice called out behind her. She whirled around to find Aedion storming towards them.</p><p>Aelin vaguely knew that he was talking to her, but she couldn't figure out why. That wasn't her name. Her head was spinning and she took a stumbling step towards him. "Aed!" she called out with a giggle, waving.</p><p>He let out a sigh and grabbed her, wrapping an arm around her waist. "Rowan, come on," He called behind him as he led Aelin out of the bar. Aelin leaned against him, babbling about random shit the entire way back. She faintly remembered that Aedion should be mad about her about something, but she couldn't figure out what.</p><p>Aedion supported her all the way to the apartment and pushed her into her bathroom with a pair of running shorts and one of Rowan's long T-shirts. "Put this on," he ordered before slamming the door shut and walking into the living room. She realized that she didn't normally wear this to sleep, but she couldn't remember the significance of that.</p><p>Aelin heard Aedion command Rowan followed by a loud hiccup. "You can sleep on the couch." His voice was muffled by the walls, but Aelin could detect his anger even in her state.</p><p>Aelin changed into the pajamas and stumbled out of the room into her bed. She heard Aedion slip into the room and felt the bed sink as he sat down next to her.</p><p>"You were being really reckless today, Ace. You could have been recognized," he told her, his voice softer now. Aelin knew he was right, even if she didn't really understand why at the moment.</p><p>"Goodnight, cousin," Aedion said, kissing her forehead and turning off the lamp. Aelin smiled softly, drifting off to sleep.</p>
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<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> Rowan's head was pounding. He peeled open his deep pine green eyes and reached out instinctively for Aelin. He jolted awake as all his hand found was empty space. Light assaulted his eyes and he dove back under the covers. He groaned loudly. The texture of the blanket confused him. He rubbed his fingers delicately over the soft fabric, feeling fuzzy tufts instead of the silky sheets he was expecting. Rowan opened his eyes slowly, attempting to get up once again. He looked around wildly, momentarily disorientated by the unfamiliar surroundings. As his eyes adjusted to the blinding light, he took in the room. He was sprawled out on the couch, with Aelin's pink fuzzy blanket draped over his legs.</p><p>He stood up frantically, determined to figure out why he slept out here. Did he upset Aelin? Did he do something stupid? Did he get hurt? Did she? The fast movement made his head spin and he wobbled on his feet. Suddenly, last night came rushing back to him. The bar, the drinks, the flirting, the almost kiss. Shit. They almost kissed. This was exactly what he was trying to avoid. This could ruin their entire relationship. A drunken almost kiss. A mistake. Shiiiiiiiiiit. Rowan was so fucked. He dragged a hand down his face and walked into Aelin's room to change out of last night's sweaty clothes.</p><p>Shit. Aelin. She must have been ten times as drunk as him last night. Which means she would be ten times as hungover. Shit. Would she even remember? Wait. Did he want her to remember? It would save him the awkwardness. ANd the destruction of their friendship. So yeah, he didn't want her to remember. But how would he figure out whether she did or not without giving it away? Fuuuuck. He won't even be able to know if he ruined their friendship. He could have potentially lost his best friend. Gods, there was no upside to this. He didn't even get to kiss her. Rowan ran a hand to his cropped, sleep disheveled, silver hair, letting out a sigh.</p><p>He walked into Aelin's massive closet, making a beeline for his drawer. He could never let himself look around her closet. Never let himself picture her in her many, many, many, scandalous clothes scattered around it. He stripped off his t-shirt and pulled down his black pants. He grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a muscle tee. Normally, he would just go shirtless, but Rowan wasn't sure if he wanted to be half-naked after last night. Actually, Rowan would normally wear something suitable for going outside and getting work done, but he doubted that Aelin would be able to function after the amount she drank last night.</p><p>Sure enough, as he stepped out of the closet, he found the bed to be empty, the sheets strewn about the floor along with a pair of discarded running shorts. The distinct sound of retching floated to his ears from the bathroom. Aelin was crouched down on the cold tile floor in one of his large t-shirts from when he life-guarded part-time. Rowan couldn't help the surge of territorial male pride that flooded through him at the sight, but he pushed it away. He had more important things to deal with. Aelin was hunched over the toilet, dry heaving into, clawing at her hair. Rowan couldn't bear the sight. She was suffering. Her golden-brown hair was rumpled, falling in front of her face and his T-shirt was riding up her thighs, revealing a good portion of her legs. It was nothing he hadn't seen before, but Rowan still forced himself to look away.</p><p>Not being able to watch any longer, he went to the sink and grabbed a hair tie from the handle of her hairbrush. Kneeling down by Aelin, he tied her hair behind her head and rubbed her back soothingly. She jumped at the contact, not having heard him come in. Strange. She was always so attentive. He could seldom sneak up on her. She must be really out of it. Aelin opened her mouth to say something, probably a snarky comment about their states, but before she could speak, she whirled back towards the toilet. She spilled the contents of her stomach into the bowl. Or at least what she had left. It seemed she had been there since before Rowan had woken up. He must have been very distracted to not have noticed the empty bed. Oh wait, he was busy considering the fact that he might have destroyed his relationship with his best friend.</p><p>He rubbed her back some more, reaching out to flush the toilet. Aelin winced at the noise. "Are you okay?" he asked gently.</p><p>She scrunched up her face and wiped the access throw up off her face with the back of her hand. "Stop shouting," she moaned.</p><p>She was pale, her cheeks sunken in and dark bags graced her under eyes, but Rowan couldn't help thinking that she looked as beautiful as ever. Her lips were pressed into a thin line as she suppressed another round of hurling her guts. He tried to block out the image of them last night, full and highlighted by her dark red lipstick, but it was futile. He couldn't forget the exhilarating feeling of them being only centimeters away from brushing his own, couldn't stop himself from imagining what would have happened if they had.</p><p>Rowan just chuckled and pushed himself off the ground. He strode over to the counter and filled up a glass with water, grabbing some aspirin from the medicine cabinet concealed by the mirror. He set them down on the floor by Aelin, smiling softly at her whisper of thanks.</p><p>"We must have drunk a lot last night, huh?" Rowan probed, desperate to learn if she remembered anything.</p><p>Aelin just shrugged. "Probably. It's all kinda hazy," she responded.</p><p>Thank gods. She didn't remember. Everything was okay. Still, Rowan couldn't fight the feeling that she wasn't being completely honest. Before he could comment, the doorbell went off. He stood abruptly.</p><p>"I'll get that. Get cleaned up."</p><p>Aelin grumbled something about who gave orders, but Rowan had already darted out of the bathroom, the door swinging closed behind him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>me, being the dumb shit i am, decided that even though i already have a ton of stuff to do, i should do the play, so now i have that to. now i don’t rlly have that much time to write so the rowaelin soulmate au may not happen or will just be published far into the future.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aelin's head was throbbing. Her throat was raw. Her ears were ringing and her eyes were blinded. But that wasn't why she felt like shit. No. Not at all. Rowan didn't remember last night. He had drunk only a fraction of what she had, yet he didn't remember. She had held onto her hope all morning, praying that yesterday wasn't just a mistake. Just a torturous taste of what could but never will be. She wasn't entirely sure it wasn't just a figment of her imagination. Because Rowan didn't remember. "We must have drunk a lot," he had asked. Because he didn't fucking remember the best night of Aelin's life. She had almost kissed him. She had gotten so close, but Aedion had to go and fuck it up. She had spent the entire night debating it. Laughing with him, flirting, and dancing with him. But she hadn't gotten the courage-- or drunk enough-- until then. And it was too late. But it didn't matter. Because Rowan didn't remember.</p><p>Honestly, Aelin thought that might be for the better. It saved her from the awkward mess that would be dealing with it. It saved her from the heartbreak if he had rejected her. If he hadn't felt the same. But she couldn't block out that small voice in her head that was telling her, that wasn't the only option. She couldn't fight the images a corner of her brain was conjuring, images of what could have been. What could have been if he remembered. If he remembered and felt the same. She could have sworn he did. He had laughed and flirted and danced right back. He had leaned in just the same as her. He was going to kiss her back. It may have just been her clouded judgment. But it didn't matter anyway. Because Rowan didn't remember. So last night may as well have never happened. But Aelin remembered. And she was sure that the memory would haunt her for the rest of her life. The possibilities of what could have been. Aelin was sure the gods had it out for her. Why else would she have such a clear memory of last night? Why else would Rowan have forgotten?</p><p>Aelin let out a sigh and dragged herself off the floor. She walked over to her mirror and pulled out the messy ponytail Rowan had put her hair into. She ran her hairbrush through her ratty hair and threw it up into a top knot. After splashing water on her face, she went into her closet and stripped off her throw up stained shirt. Rather, Rowan's throw-up-stained shirt. She threw on a random shirt and a pair of leggings before stumbling into the kitchen to meet whoever was at the door.</p><p>She emerged from her room to find Aedion standing in the doorway bearing grocery bags full of chocolate and other junk food. She pushed past Rowan who was blocking his entry and snatched the chocolate out of Aedion's hands, darting to the couch, already shoveling it into her mouth.</p><p>Time skip..... I won't normally do this but we are skipping to the next morning.</p><p>Aelin was sitting next to Aedion, discussing everything except for the reports in front of them. Yes, they had gotten them yesterday. Honestly, they had been insultingly easy to steal. Very anticlimactic. She and Rowan had pulled up to the closest precinct, she had flirted a little with the officer in the front, and Rowan had nabbed the reports from the top of the desk. The contents of the reports were what scared her. They said absolutely nothing of importance. Why did Arobynn want them so desperately? Why didn't he get them himself? She pushed those thoughts away. She wasn't going to think about that until she needed to. Until she had to face Arobynn himself.</p><p>"So what happened once you found us the other night?" Aelin asked. It was a genuine question. While she remembered everything pre almost kiss, everything after Aedion had found them, was fuzzy. It was as if her brain only wanted her to remember the pain.</p><p>"Well, I brought you back to the house and you babbled about your night the entire way," Aedion told her.</p><p>"Did I say anything particularly embarrassing?" Aelin asked. His face was answer enough. Aelin cringed and winced internally. "Oh gods, what did I say?" she asked, dreading the answer.</p><p>"Um... You started yelling at me that I had ruined your chance with 'him'" he told her, using air quotes at the end. "Yeah... you went on about how that was your one shot, how you were so close, all that shit." Aelin mentally cursed herself. Not only did she almost kiss her best friend (which she still wasn't entirely sure if she regretted) but she basically told her gossip of a cousin about it.</p><p>Aedion seemed to notice her expression. "What was that all about?" he asked tactlessly.</p><p>"I have no idea, I can't remember anything from last night," Aelin said, lying through her teeth. She felt bad, but there was no way she was going to say it here when Rowan might be able to hear from where he was making breakfast in the kitchen. Anyway, she didn't trust Aedion to keep a secret. She wasn't even sure he wouldn't go and spill this to Rowan as soon as she got up. She sent him a warning look clearly promising death if he mentioned this to anyone. Hopefully, he got the message.</p><p>The doorbell went off and she jumped at the chance of an escape from their uncomfortable conversation. She rushed to the door and swung it open, not bothering to check who it was. She had her daggers. Standing on the other side of the door was Lysandra, a grim expression gracing her face.</p><p>"Come in," Aelin said, stepping aside and gesturing towards the couch where Aedion was seated. Rowan had left the kitchen upon hearing the commotion and was seated on one of the armchairs by the couch. "Rowan, Lysandra, Lysandra, Rowan," Aelin introduced, pointing back and forth.</p><p>Lysandra let out a little chuckle and sat down next to Aedion. "I believe you two have met before?" Aelin asked, nodding her head at the two of them.</p><p>"Of course. I couldn't forget a face like that," Aedion said, winking exaggeratedly at Lysandra.</p><p>"Funny, I don't seem to remember yours," Lysandra retorted.</p><p>"My face is beautiful!" Aedion gasped in mock horror.</p><p>"Keep dreaming," Lysandra sang, flipping her hair behind her shoulder.</p><p>Aelin snapped her fingers in their face, bringing their attention to herself, before taking a seat in the chair across from Rowan. "If you are done flirting with my cousin, I assume there is a reason you are here?" Aelin asked. "Not that I don't love seeing you," She added hastily. Aelin knew why she was here, but she needed confirmation. Her brain didn't want to accept that the time had come. It had been a week. </p><p>Lysandra's face immediately sobered. "Yes. Arobynn got word that you got the reports. He wants you to come for dinner tomorrow."</p>
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<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rowan had pushed the other night out of his mind. He wasn't going to think about it anymore. He wasn't going to analyze every little thing Aelin said, wasn't going to play the night on repeat in his head. She didn't remember it. That was okay. They had more important things to do. He couldn't let it distract him. He would put on a brave face for Aelin because she needed him now more than ever. She was going to have to face her demons tonight, have to face Arobynn. She was going to need people she could trust, people she could lean on, look to for help. Rowan knew Arobynn held a lot of baggage for her. He had served as her only father figure as she grew up, training her, feeding her, she had lived under his roof for eight years. But he had also abused her, hitting her, teaching her to fear herself and her past, and he had orchestrated Sam's death. He was a terrible person, and Rowan knew Aelin knew it, but he also knew she couldn't make herself hate him entirely. Aelin was strong. She could face him. Gods did Rowan know that. But she shouldn't have to do it alone.</p><p>So, when Aelin came up to him after Lysandra had left asking for a favor, he didn't ask any questions before agreeing. She had told him that there was something she needed to do before tonight, closure she needed to get. Which is how he found himself here, walking with Aelin to Sam's grave. It made sense. She hadn't seen the burial, had been in jail during the funeral. She hadn't gotten any closure, only nursed her need for vengeance. This visit would be a fitting way to begin the day. By tomorrow, she would be able to put her entire traumatic past behind her and move on to fulfill her destiny. Rowan didn't expect her to forget it. No, he knew she wouldn't. But she would finally be able to heal, to grow, and learn from them. Rowan had been in her shoes before. With Lyria. He had been to her funeral, had planned it in fact, but he had held on to that hate and grief for years. He had only just begun to heal. He and Aelin were on this journey together. To whatever end.</p><p>Rowan gripped Aelin's hand tighter, pulling her against his side. They were walking to the graveyard, not wanting to go through the trouble of calling an Uber or hailing a cab. They were trying to be discreet. Aelin was wearing a pair of tight figure-hugging black leggings and a large green t-shirt of his tied at her navel with a hairband, and outfit that Rowan thought should have been considered a form of torture. He was still wearing his sweatpants and tank top from this morning, not having bothered changing before leaving the house. They weren't planning on being seen anyway, sticking to abandoned alleys and dark shadows.</p><p>He let Aelin pull him through the streets. He had only been in Rifthold for a little over a week, he hadn't yet gotten a handle over the obscure grid the city was built on. He still relied on Aelin and Aedion for navigation. She led him through the winding streets and avenues of Rifthold, crossing and uncrossing streets, doubling back to throw off anyone who might be following them. (*cough* Lorcan *cough*)</p><p>Their sneaker baring feet were near-silent as they slipped through the back alley and emerged by the graveyard. A low, run-down, intricate metal fence circled it, the midnight black paint chipping. The gate was hanging open a crack, and Aelin tentatively pushed it all the way and slipped in, wincing at the loud creaking sound it made. Rowan followed behind her, keeping a respectful distance as she wondered the rows of engraved stones, eyes searching for Sam Cortland.</p><p>She spotted it before Rowan did, but she didn't go immediately, taking roundabout ways through the yard, walking slowly. Sam Cortland, Beloved. She didn't want to say goodbye. Rowan knew how she felt. While he didn't have a clear memory of Lyria's funeral, having been consumed by his grief-ridden haze, he remembered his reluctance to face her body, to accept her death. He approached her carefully, making sure to make his footsteps heard. He slowly wrapped an arm around her shoulders, giving her time to pull away. Rowan knew there were two ways she may grieve, either by pushing everyone away or by leaning on them. He knew she would try the first, but he wouldn't let her. She needed people, and he would never leave her side, no matter what. No matter the feelings his stupid heart had developed.</p><p>She leaned into his warmth for a second, tears streaming silently down her face, as she shook from her suppressed sobs. He ran his hand down her side in comforting strokes. He knew words wouldn't help her right now. But he knew there was nothing he wouldn't do to take her pain away. He squeezed her tighter, basking in her closeness despite the reason for it. He would take what he could get.</p><p>Aelin slowly pulled away, and he looked at her questioningly, scrunching his eyebrows. Are you okay?</p><p>She just gestured towards the place where the metal fence transformed into a small stone wall in the back of the graveyard. Of course. He had been wondering why she hadn't brought flowers, but Terresanese people didn't lay flowers at graves. No, they laid down stones. Flowers wilted and died. Stones were forever.</p><p>Aelin collected some in her hands, and kneeled by the grave, placing them in a circle around it. Rowan silently followed her example, picking up a handful of pebbles from the base of the wall, and placing them tenderly within Aelin's circle. She looked up at him, gratitude shining through her tear-filled eyes.</p><p>He placed a sweet, platonic kiss on the crest of her brow before retreating to the gate to keep watch. Aelin turned back to the grave, whispering her goodbyes to Sam. He couldn't hear what she said and didn't wish to, they were private. But, he did hear her singing in a low voice an ancient Terresanese song. He found his own eyes welling up.</p>
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<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter is basically just Aelin getting dressed. It's a filler, nothing really happens, yet somehow it is 1200 words? i know you all were expecting them to face off against arobynn buuut you’ll just have to wait one more chapter. sorry? also thanks to o everyone who commented!!! my shit is all rlly glitchy so it only lets me respond sometimes but i do read all of them!!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aelin bit back a curse as the scalding water burned her feet. She stepped into the tub and sank down, submerging herself in the water. She couldn't hold back her hiss of pain, but she knew she didn't have enough time to wait for the water to cool. She had been putting off getting ready ever since Lysandra had shown up this morning. Granted, she had been planning to go to Sam's grave today for a while. Actually, she had been planning to go alone, but with the looming plans with Arobynn, Aelin had decided she needed Rowan with her. So she had dragged him across the city despite her guilt and shame. She had cried in front of him. She had said goodbye to Sam. And he didn't judge her. He was just there, a solid figure in her life like always. Of course he was. Because they were in this together. To whatever end. And she was glad she had brought him. She didn't know if she would have been able to do it without him.</p><p>And, after they had gotten home, Aelin had been in a mood. Obviously. She had come home and promptly flopped onto her bed, laying there all day in bed all day, reading a smutty romance out loud to fluster Rowan. But, she couldn't flake on dinner tonight. So she had pulled herself out of her funk and gotten into the bath.</p><p>Aelin wanted to stay in the warm bath forever, soaking in the soothing water, but she knew she didn't have the time. Sighing deeply, she sat up, the water droplets flying off her smooth bare skin. She reached out for her lavender shampoo and lathered her hair, rinsing thoroughly. She washed her body and shaved her legs, primping herself to perfection. Despite the unfortunate circumstances, Aelin wasn't going to pass up on the opportunity to dress up. She might even be able to make a certain Doranellian uncomfortable. She smirked at the idea. Aelin stepped out of the bath and methodically dried her skin with her velvety towel.</p><p>Her heart sunk as she realized what she had to do next. Aelin reached out for the vial of oil and unscrewed the lid carefully. She tipped the vial over and poured a dollop into her palm. Rubbing her palms together, she started lathering the liquid into her skin, setting the strong almond scent into her body. Fucking Arobynn. No. That's exactly what he wanted. For her to think of him as she rubbed the oil all over her body. As she spread it over her arms, her legs, her every crevice. She shuddered. That evil bastard.</p><p>Aelin screwed the lid shut tightly and tossed the small half-empty vial into the trash. She would never use it again. Ever. She ran her hands under the water, washing away the icky oil texture. Next, she ran a comb through her hair, detangling it, before wrapping it tightly in a small towel. She would style it after she got dressed. Picking her cream-colored towel up from where she had discarded it on the floor, she wrapped it snugly around her torso, before pushing open the door to the bathroom.</p><p>The air draft swooshed in, sending shivers down her spine and causing goosebumps to form across her arms. Aelin pulled the towel around her tighter and darted towards her closet, slamming the door shut firmly behind her. Once safely in the warm, isolated room, She twisted the lock on the door and let her towel drop. She strode confidently to the back of the closet and started rifling through the hanging dresses.</p><p>Aelin pulled each formal dress out and held it against her naked body, cocking her head to the said as she considered it. And each time she delicately re-slung it onto its hanger and hung it back up on the metal pole. But then, a specific dress caught her eye. She gasped and pulled it out quickly. Without even trying it on, she knew it was perfect. The dress had caught Rowan's eye before, but she had never worn it. Now was the perfect opportunity. She unzipped the back and pulled it down over the head, sliding her arms into the slender sleeves. The dress hugged her curves tightly, flowing down her legs and pooling in a train at her feet. The neckline swooped down to her collarbone, the shoulders of the velvet black garment embroidered with gold. But the back was the real masterpiece. The embroidery came together and formed a great golden dragon clawing its way up her spine, its jaw open in a mighty roar.</p><p>She slid her feet into a pair of black flats. Her feet wouldn't be visible due to the length of the dress, and she needed to be prepared to fight Arobynn. That wasn't the plan, but she needed to be ready for anything. No, that wasn't the plan at all. She was going to go and try her very best to be civil towards the man who fucked up her childhood. Gods, tonight would be hard. At least she knew it would have a good ending. Arobynn would be dead by the end of the night. Yet, Aelin would not be the one to do it. She thought she would want to be the one to kill him, to exact vengeance for Sam, for her destroyed childhood. She had contemplated it enough while in prison. But now that the actual task was looming in front of her, she found that she couldn't bring herself to do it. No matter how much hatred towards him was brewing in her heart, she couldn't bring herself to be the one to slit his throat. But he had to die tonight. And other people were more deserving of this chance at revenge. So, Aelin quickly scribbled down a note to Lysandra. He's all yours.</p><p>Having finished dressing, she exited the closet and went back to the bathroom. Aelin pulled out her make-up pallets but ended up going a more simplistic route. Her only noticeable make-up was her eye-liner and deep red lipstick. After finishing that with painstaking detail, she turned to her hair. Aelin pulled off her towel and shook her head, letting her now-dry hair fall naturally around her elegant shoulders. She ran a brush through it a couple of times before pulling it back and attaching two bat-wing shaped hair clips to form a headdress of sorts. It was extravagant, but so was Aelin. Arobynn would appreciate it.</p><p>She re-entered her bedroom and pulled a couple daggers out of her bedside table. That was a perk of wearing a long dress; it had way more hiding spots for her weapons. After arming herself, she strode out of her bedroom and into the living room. Aedion was still getting dressed in his room, but Rowan was sitting on the couch. But as he turned and saw her, taking her dress in, his breath caught. If Aelin didn't know any better, she would have thought that there was hunger flickering in his eyes-- ravenous hunger.</p>
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<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Chapter 24</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>not me freaking the fuck out about the election and stress eating all through my online class...... enjoy regardless</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rowan couldn't keep his eyes off Aelin. Not that this was an uncommon occurrence. But gods did she look stunning. Her tight dress highlighted her figure perfectly, her hair was pulled back to reveal her gorgeous face. Her simplistic make-up just accented her eyes and lips. Gods, her lips. The deep red lipstick she had applied made it nearly impossible for Rowan to look away. Not that he wanted to. But it might have been slightly awkward to explain why. Or that he had been picturing pressing his lips against her. That cramped subway ride had been hell. Aedion's presence was probably the only thing that kept his self-control intact. Gods, he needed to keep it together. The night was still young. They had only just arrived at the Keep.</p><p>Rowan walked up the stairs to the entrance of the grand four-story brownstone. (A/N I know in the book it's like an estate and shit but I'm picturing it more like NYC (where I live) and there aren't estates in the city so I went with a brownstone) It was well disguised in an upper-class neighborhood. No one would go looking for a bunch of thugs or a criminal there. He lifted his fist to knock, but Aelin bounded up the steps and held out an arm to stop him. She pried at one of the bricks on the side of the stoop, which turned out not to be brick but plastic as it swung open to reveal a buzzer.</p><p>"Only uninvited people knock," Aelin informed him. He felt a pang in his heart at this new tidbit of information. She grew up in a house where they had a secret doorbell. At least he had had a good childhood. His life only turned for the worse once he got older, what with Lyria's death and his contract with Maeve. But Aelin had gotten him out of that. And she was so close to putting her past behind her. Just one more night.</p><p>Aelin had warned them before coming, but Rowan had been a little preoccupied looking at anything but her. So, to say he had been distracted was a serious understatement. Because of that, he didn't really know what to expect. All he had retained from her lecture was, "Be on your guard and keep your fat mouths shut. Especially with the police reports. No matter what you hear or see, just keep your fat mouths shut. No psychotic territorial bullshit."</p><p>Her glare had been enough for him to quickly agree. Aedion on the other hand responded with a snarky quip, but she had shut it down quickly by turning her death-promising eyes to his. They had left their jackets with Nesryn, who was killing time at a restaurant a couple blocks away in case they needed back up. He could see Aelin shivering through the light fabric of her dress, and had to resist the urge to wrap her in a warm hug. This time, it wasn't because of the romantic implications of the gesture. No, he meant it in a totally platonic way. But Arobynn wouldn't see it that way, and he didn't want to give Aelin any other weaknesses.</p><p>The carved oak door swung open, revealing a grinning Arobynn. Light flooded the stoop, and Rowan could see the brightly lit parlor peeking out from behind his towering form.</p><p>"Welcome home," Aroynn purred. Home. The wording didn't get past any of them, and Rowan was sure it was intentional. He was trying to get under their skin. And one look at Aelin showed that it was working. But he couldn't know that. Rowan put a comforting hand on the small of Aelin's back, shooting her a look. Are you okay?</p><p>She just nodded subtly back. Yes, now pay attention.</p><p>He followed her over the threshold and into the brownstone. The parlor had a wooden coffee table and was surrounded by white leather couches, lit by a grand chandelier hanging down from the ceiling. The decor was much too fancy and looked out of place for a city house.</p><p>"Your favor," Aelin said, pulling the reports out of her purse. Arobynn snatched them from her, thanking them tightly.</p><p>He was wearing a green button-down and black slacks. It offset his auburn hair, bur Rowan knew the real motive behind the color. Terresan green. Another mind game. Another way to control the playing field. Make them question where he stood.</p><p>"You look ravishing, but I'd expect nothing less. Not even a bruise after acquiring the reports. Impressive," Arobynn complimented, squeezing Aelin's fingers and getting way too close to her for Rowan's comfort. He bristled but held back a growl. Rowan could feel Aedion's similar revulsion radiating off of him from where he stood next to him. Arobynn leaned closer and Rowan couldn't stop his sneer of disgust.</p><p>"And you smell divine, too. I'm glad my gift was put to good use," he crooned. Rowan stood rigid. It took every ounce of his carefully cultivated self-control to stop himself from pouncing on him and ripping his throat out. No. He would be dead by the end of the night anyway.</p><p>"Well, I suppose you already know my companions," Aelin said, nodding towards them with a smile. How could she be civil to him? Gods, she was an amazing actor. The thought tugged at him. Could she be lying to him about anything? Rowan pushed the thought away. Not the time to start doubting his best friend. Anyway, she wouldn't do that. Not unless it was absolutely necessary. Or she was concocting some crazy plan. But he hoped she wasn't. He wasn't sure his heart could take another one of her big reveals. (A/N *author cackles evilly in the background. Just you wait, rowan)</p><p>Rowan zoned out during Aedion's introduction, focusing on inspecting the house. There was no one else on the floor, but Rowan could hear the creak of footsteps coming from upstairs. Aelin had said that Arobynn's most trusted henchmen were the only ones who stayed here. The rest of them were holed up at the hotel he owned. Rowan hoped they didn't have to deal with any of them tonight. One evil bastard was enough.</p><p>Rowan snapped back to attention as Arobynn turned back to him. "You, I don't know," Arobynn mused, looking up at Rowan.</p><p>"You can call me Rowan. That's all you need to know." Rowan cocked his head to the side in what he hoped was an intimidating way. He didn't think he could be any more civil towards him, didn't even trust himself to say anything more. "Thank you for the oil," he added, remembering his little plan. "My skin was a little dry."</p><p>Arobynn's only response was a blink, but Rowan could tell he was shocked. Rowan knew Arobynn wouldn't be expecting him to use the oil intended for Aelin. Another way to throw off his game. But Rowan was more interested in Aelin's reaction. She certainly hadn't been expecting it. He had had to fish the vial out of the trash basket in the bathroom just minutes before they had left. She didn't dare look at him, but Rowan could read the surprise on her face, in her wide eyes.</p><p>"We can sit for dinner and save the business talk for later," Arobynn said, gesturing to the back of the house. Rowan didn't see the point of that. Why go under the pretense of catching up? They all knew the real reason they were here. Rowan wished they could just get this over with. But Arobynn would try and drag it out.</p><p>Arobynn led them into the dining room, pushing open the doors to reveal a long wooden table with plush seats surrounding it and four places set, food laid out on the table. Once his back was turned, Aelin looked to Rowan, brows raised.</p><p>He never specified that only you had to wear it. Rowan shrugged. Aelin's face contorted into some expression he couldn't read. What?</p><p>You just... surprise me sometimes. Aelin shook her head.</p><p>Good. I'd hate for you to get bored. Despite his better judgment, Rowan gripped her hand lightly, pulling her into the dining room after everyone.</p><p>They sat and dug into the Italian takeout-- something someone should have warned Arobynn about. Pasta was never as good and it was always painfully obvious that it was take-out, even when you tried to disguise it by putting it into fancy serving dishes. Lysandra joined them several minutes into the meal, and they had to pretend like she hadn't just been chilling at their apartment mere hours ago.</p><p>Arobynn started droning on about the things he had gotten up to since Aelin had left, careful not to reveal anything of actual importance. He bit out some backhanded insults to Aelin and complained about how she had destroyed his boxing gym, the vaults, to which Rowan couldn't fight the small surge of pride. But other than that, he didn't pay much attention. Nothing of real importance was said, the dinner all a meager attempt to uphold the ruse of civility. They started telling stories about Aelin's childhood, which made Rowan's blood boil, but then a particularly funny one came up about Aelin and Lysandra's last interaction before she had left the keep.</p><p>You really threw a dagger at her head? he asked, scrunching his brows at her across the table.</p><p>I was a tad hotheaded.</p><p>Arobynn continued onto another story about Lysandra and Aelin's less than civil relationship, oblivious to their interaction.</p><p>I'm beginning to admire Lysandra more and more. Seventeen-year-old Aelin must have been a delight to deal with.</p><p>Aelin's turquoise eyes lit up with amusement. I would pay good money to see seventeen-year-old Aelin meet seventeen-year-old Rowan.</p><p>Rowan suppressed a snort. Seventeen-year-old Rowan wouldn't have known what to do with you. He could barely speak to females outside his family,</p><p>Liar-- I don't believe that for a second.</p><p>Rowan glanced at the rest of the table, but none of them seemed to have noticed their silent conversation. It's true. You would have scandalized him with your nightclothes-- even with that dress you have on.</p><p>Mischief danced in Aelin's eyes. He would probably have been even more scandalized to learn that I'm not wearing any undergarments beneath this dress.</p><p>Rowan couldn't stop his knee from banging against the table, causing everyone to shoot him a look, but they continued with what they were doing.</p><p>Gods, Aelin couldn't just do that to him. Did she not know how much control he was already exerting without that knowledge? Well, of course, she didn't. Because he couldn't tell her. Because that would ruin their relationship. But..... she was flirting with him. He thought. Could she feel the same way? For the first time, he let himself entertain that prospect, despite how unlikely it was.</p><p>You can't be serious, Rowan responded finally.</p><p>Did you see any place where this dress might hide them? Every line and wrinkle would show.</p><p>Rowan shook his head subtly. Do you delight in shocking me?</p><p>Aelin smiled. How else am I supposed to keep a cranky immortal entertained?</p><p>Okay, she was definitely flirting. But what did that mean? Before he could answer that question for himself, Aelin spoke out loud, capturing his attention once again.</p><p>"Did you ask me something?" Aelin said to Arobynn, whose face was emotionless and cold.</p><p>"Are you ready to discuss these reports?"</p>
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<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Chapter 25</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry for the late update, i completely forgot!!! i spent all of today celebrating!!!!! looks like i won’t need to move to canada to<br/>keep my rights! democracy is saved so you can enjoy the chapter without stressing over the election!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Are you ready to discuss the reports?"</p><p>Aelin's blood ran cold. The pleasantries were over now. It was time for business. She knew this moment would come, but that doesn't make her any more prepared for it.</p><p>"Of course," she replied, flashing him a dazzling smile. "Should we clear the table so we have an adequate workspace?"</p><p>"Oh, no. Tern, Harding, and Mullin all still have to eat. We can go move to my office upstairs," Arobynn said, waving Aelin off as she began to collect plates. "Just follow me," he instructed, hefting his muscular frame out of his seat.</p><p>Change in location. A way to assert control. One of the first ones he had taught her. This was what she was trying to avoid. The entire table stood up and started to walk after him as he headed towards the carpeted stairwell.</p><p>"No. Just Aelin. We have a business to attend to," Arobynn ordered, holding out a hand to halt Rowan and Aedion.</p><p>They both came to an abrupt stop, wearing matching expressions of pure outrage. Aelin managed to force her face into a mask of indifference. She had been expecting this after all. Divide and conquer. Isolate. Another way to gain power. Rowan let out a growl of protest, but Aelin knew it was futile. Arobynn wouldn't bend. So, to throw him off his game, she laid her hand on Rowan's shoulder.</p><p>"It's fine, Rowan. He is right. We'll be back down soon," she promised him. She could see surprise glinting in Arobynn's eyes, but she knew he wouldn't say anything. "Anyway, someone needs to keep Lysandra company," she sneered with as much contempt as she could muster. It had killed her to act hostile towards Lysandra, who had become one of her closest friends over the course of the last few months. It had killed her to watch Arobynn treat her like shit. And it would kill her to leave her here tonight. But it would all be worth it. Because of the note, she had slipped when she had greeted Lysandra. He's all yours. Lysandra would get the revenge she deserved. For herself. For Wesley. For Sam. He would be dead by morning. Aelin suppressed a shudder at the thought. She still didn't feel completely comfortable with planning the demise of the man who had served as her father for eight years of her life.</p><p>Arobynn nodded in confirmation with her last statements, oblivious to her thoughts. He continued up the steps, and Aelin followed him, lifting the long skirts of her dress to prevent an ungraceful trip. As she rounded the corner onto the next level, she threw one last look down the stairs. Aedion had already retreated into the living room and was probably shamelessly flirting with Lysandra. Rowan, however, was standing motionless at the bottom step, tracking her every movement, his eyes filled with concern.</p><p>I'll be fine, Buzzard, Aelin assured him. She honestly wasn't sure. She didn't know what lengths Arobynn would go to to get what he wanted. Would he hurt her? But she needed to do this. And Rowan worrying wouldn't help anyone. She tore her eyes away from Rowan, who was dressed in his fine black blazer, the silver accents bringing out his brilliant eyes.</p><p>She turned back around and started towards Arobynn's office, the layout of the house already ingrained in her brain from her years living there, only to find him glancing back and forth between her and Rowan. She sighed and pushed past him, entering his grand office. The room hadn't changed at all since she had last been in here three years ago. Pictures of various guild members still adorned the walls, the same tan leather chairs still sat facing each other on either side of the oak desk. Aelin could have sworn she could still see the faint stain on the shaggy white carpet from when Arobynn had beat her and Sam into oblivion. The only difference she could find was a single photo facing the window, placed at Arobynn's side of the desk. It was of Aelin when she was about 13, standing next to Arobynn and sticking her tongue out at Sam. She remembered that day vividly but didn't let herself get consumed by the memories. She wouldn't go down that rabbit hole. She had come here to deal with business, not for the nostalgia.</p><p>Aelin sunk into the armchair closest to her, propping her feet up on the polished table. Arobynn stepped in after her and sat in the chair across from her.</p><p>"Make yourself comfortable," he said, raising an eyebrow at her position.</p><p>"Let's skip the small talk, shall we?" Aelin said. She didn't want to be here for any longer than she had to.</p><p>They sat in that room for over thirty minutes, bargaining and fighting. In the end, they both thought they had emerged victorious. Aelin had agreed to work for Arobynn, serving as his eyes and ears. All he had to give up were a couple of papers about her parents he had acquired when he had gotten custody of her. Aelin was sure Arobynn thought her a sentimental fool.</p><p>But what he didn't know is that he wouldn't be around tomorrow to enforce her end of the deal. And she signed no legally binding contracts. So today she walked away with the win. Because those were no sentimental papers. Those were the evidence she needed to stake her claim over the renowned Orynth Times newspaper.</p><p>She stood from her chair and Arobynn led her downstairs. "Goodbye, Celaena," he said to her, kissing her palm.</p><p>It took everything in her not to recoil in disgust. "My name is Aelin," she couldn't help but bite back.</p><p>"Of course, my mistake. I'll see you soon."</p><p>"Yes," she agreed, adding in hell silently.</p><p>Aelin withdrew her hand from his grasp and quickly left the brownstone, not waiting to see if Rowan and Aedion had followed her. She needed to get out of there. One more minute surrounded by those memories of Sam and she would have burst into tears. She lifted up her skirts and sprinted down the block to the restaurant where Nesryn was waiting. She pulled open the door of the Mexican restaurant and collapsed into the seat across from her.</p><p>Nesryn shot her a sympathetic smile but seemed to sense her reluctance to talk. Nesryn just extracted a pair of clothing from her backpack and handed it to Aelin. She smiled in thanks and headed to the bathroom in the back, glad to change into the comfortable grey sweatpants and a blue tank top. She pulled her hair down and splashed her face with water, before walking back out and stuffing her dress and hair clips into Nesryn's backpack. They sat there in easy silence as they waited for the boys to join them.</p><p>They didn't have to wait long. Rowan and Aedion came hurtling into the restaurant not more than five minutes later, their panicked composers drawing the attention of the other customers. Rowan paid no attention to the others, his eyes immediately drawn to Aelin. She smiled softly and him and in one quick stride, he had her engulfed in his strong arms. She wrapped her own around his waist and sighed contentedly, burying her nose in his neck. She would be perfectly happy to stay like that forever. And based on the way Rowan squeezed her waist and hid his face in her hair she thought he might feel the same.</p>
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<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Chapter 26</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rowan stood on the roof of the building, staring wistfully at the young woman standing in front of him. Anyone with eyes would be able to tell that he was hopelessly and desperately in love with her. Sadly, she was not facing him, and couldn't see the adoration filling his pine green eyes. Aelin had dragged Rowan up here as soon as they got back and he had been happy to follow. Rowan knew that she was hurting, but he didn't know how to approach the topic. She was adamant in refusing the fact that she didn't want Arobynn to die. "He is a fucking bastard and deserves what's coming to him. Anyway, he needs to die," Aelin had repeated the several times Rowan had brought it up. He knew that there was more to it, but he didn't want her to hurt more. So he would just stand here until she needed his support. Aelin was staring at the city skyline, her eyes shining with what he thought might be tears. He padded across the roof and came up being her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, showing his support and love silently.</p><p>She jumped at the contact, having been so out of it that she hadn't heard him approach. Rowan chuckled softly. He squeezed her tightly, causing his dress shirt to strain. He hadn't had a chance to change out of his formal clothes, which were from the original batch of clothing Lysandra had brought, meaning they didn't quite fit. A cool breeze wrapped around them, sending chills down Rowan's arms through his thin green button-down. Aelin sunk deeper into his arms and laughed softly as she felt his goosebump covered arms. (A/N okay so I keep noticing people calling it gooseflesh in like books and fics and stuff but I've never met anyone who says that. Do any of you?) He didn't know if he could blame those on the wind.</p><p>"You were right, you know," Aelin said, her voice thick. She spoke so softly that if Rowan hadn't been standing directly next to her he would have missed it completely.</p><p>"You're going to have to be more specific," Rowan sniped, trying to lift the mood.</p><p>Aelin huffed a laugh, smacking Rowan's arm lightly. "I meant about Arobynn. H-he needs to die, and he deserves it, but I can't force myself to be happy about it," Aelin confessed. "I-I don't know what's wrong with me. Why am I such an awful person? Why can't I bring myself to hate this terrible, terrible person?"</p><p>Rowan released her and took a step away. Her expression fell, devastation written across her features, as though she hadn't expected him to agree. As if him stepping away was him confirming her suspicions. He was quick to correct her, cupping her cheeks and forcing her to look him in the eye.</p><p>"Never say that," Rowan begged, his voice rough. "You are a good person, no matter what anyone else says."</p><p>She opened her mouth as if to argue, but Rowan cut her off. "It is perfectly normal for you not to want to kill Arobynn. He was your father figure. He fed you, he taught you how to defend yourself, he took you in," he assured her. "But, you have to remember everything else he did. This is the same man who had Sam killed, the same man who fucking bought Lysandra, who beat you your entire childhood. You don't have to like it, but you're right. He has to die."</p><p>Aelin smiled at him softly. "I know. You're right."</p><p>Suddenly, Rowan realized how close they were standing. His hands were still cupped around Aelin's face, her breath tickling him. He released Aelin and moved to take a step back, but Aelin grabbed his wrist and pulled him back towards her. He complied willingly, though he was more confused. He searched her eyes for an answer and was shocked by what he found. In place of tears and sorrow, some other familiar emotion was now shining in her dazzling turquoise ringed with gold eyes. It took him a moment to decipher it, but his heart stopped when he did. Love. He knew where he had seen it before. In his own eyes staring back at him in the mirror. Gods. She felt the same.</p><p>Aelin reached out and pushed back Rowan's wind strewn hair, and he stilled, scared any motion would scare her away. Everything made sense now. They had been dancing around each other for months. The almost kiss. The nightgowns. The flirting, the appreciative looks. Gods, he was an idiot. She loved him back. Rowan couldn't help the achingly wide smile that made its way onto his usually harsh face.</p><p>Aelin took that as a sign to keep going. She traced the edge of his face with the soft pads of her fingers, adoration filling her soul-searching eyes. Rowan couldn't stop himself from lifting his hands from where they were hanging limp at his sides and placing them delicately on Aelin's hips, pulling her closer to him. Aelin just continued what she was doing, her fingers brushing gently across his face, running over the outline of his nose, his jaw, his neck, his lips. Rowan longed for more, for her lips to replace her fingers. He yearned to kiss those lips, now more than ever, but he wouldn't dare risk it. Wouldn't dare risk ruining whatever this was. Aelin continued her path, switching from his tattoo. She ran her pointer finger across his brow and down the side of his face, tracing the swirling lines of the old language. The lines that told Lyria's story. Lyria.</p><p>Suddenly, Rowan was overcome with a wave of grief. Lyria. His fiance. His love. Dead. And here he was, about to kiss someone else. Not just anyone, Rowan's subconscious argued. Aelin. His best friend. The woman he was in love with. The woman you loved other than Lyria, another unhelpful voice added. Fuck. The heart-crushing guilt hit him like a physical blow, and he almost stumbled backward. He knew it was ridiculous, knew she was dead, but he couldn't fight the feeling that he was betraying Lyria somehow. Like moving on was leaving her behind. Like by loving Aelin, by kissing her, he would be forgetting Lyria. This melting pot of grief, betrayal, and guilt made Rowan's knees weak, his body threatening to collapse. His hands dropped from Aelin's waist and he took a quick step back, causing Aelin's arms to mimic his own.</p><p>"Don't touch me like that," he hissed.</p><p>The hopeless, despaired, heartbroken expression that struck her face hit Rowan like a truck. She staggered back, clutching her heart as though he had ripped it out of her chest. Tears glistened in her eyes. Reality crashed back into him, and he immediately regretted everything. Rowan reached out a desperate arm, called out to stop Aelin from leaving, to apologize, but she had already turned around, letting out a choked sob. Rowan took a step after her, but before he could get more than a meter she had fled back downstairs, the door to the roof swinging shut behind her.</p><p>Rowan stood on the roof listlessly for the next hour, numb with regret. He knew he needed to go to sleep, but he didn't want to have to face Aelin again tonight. They needed time to heal. Then he would apologize.</p><p>Rowan snuck back inside, careful not to wake a sleeping Aelin. On his way into the closet, he noticed she wasn't wearing her one of the normal nightgowns. No, for the first time since Rowan had arrived in Rifthold, she was wearing one of Sam's shirts. For some reason, that sent a whole new wave of regret through Rowan's heart. The volume of the hurt he had caused her became clear. But she was asleep. So Rowan stripped off his dress clothes and threw on a pair of sweatpants before climbing into bed next to Aelin. He fell asleep planning out what he would say to Aelin tomorrow in his apology. How he would profess his love for her.</p>
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<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Chapter 27</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay so in this chapter I switch to Celaena Sardothien when she is pretending to be her. So basically when she is at the keep. it's kinda confusing.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aelin went through the motions of getting ready just like every other day. She brushed her teeth, changed into a pair of baggy jeans and a sweater, ate the breakfast Aedion fed her, and sat expectantly on the couch. She wasn't surprised when she got a text from Tern that read, Arobynn is dead. Come to Keep now. She wasn't surprised when she got onto the subway and rode across the city to the keep, Aedion, and Rowan in tow. No. What surprised her was that her body kept functioning, kept moving, despite the gaping chasm where her heart used to be.</p><p>Aelin had spent all of her tears last night. She had thought through all of her regrets, her mistakes. Now she was just numb. She had to do this. Had to finish these tasks. Had to continue to move. But she wasn't so sure she would be able to once she was done. Aelin had been so gods damned stupid last night. She was fairly sure she hadn't imagined the lust in Rowan's eyes. But now she knew that was all it was. Lust. Nothing else. And she should have guessed that he might not have wanted to act on it. Might have hated himself for it. And now she had fucked up everything. Last night she had cried until her tear ducts were sucked dry. But her tears hadn't just been for her broken heart. They hadn't just been for her destroyed friendship. Because as soon as the first sob escaped her throat, all of her pain came crashing down. So, she cried for her relationship with Chaol. She cried for the young girl that had been sent to Endovier. She cried for Dorian's freedom. She cried for Nehemia. She cried for Sam. She cried for her parents. She cried for her stolen childhood. And, she cried for Arobynn. For the man she had hoped he would be.</p><p>Aelin had spent up all of her tears last night. She wouldn't waste another moment in despair. She had things to do. So, Aelin had dragged herself out of bed this morning. She had stripped off Sam's shirt and put all of his clothes into a trash bag for donation as she should have from the beginning. She got dressed and did her make-up. But the one difference today is that she made no attempt at being civil. Aelin couldn't face Rowan today. She didn't know if she ever would. So she ignored all of his attempts to talk to her. She avoided him when she could. And she didn't speak to Aedion either. She knew he hadn't done anything wrong, knew that she was being unfair to him but she was almost positive that if she started telling him about what happened, she would break down, and she couldn't afford to do that. She had things to do today. Big things. Critical things. And she wouldn't let a personal problem get in the way of re-claiming the Orynth Times.</p><p>She knew Rowan and Aedion were both confused as to why they were going to the Keep. She had gotten the papers last night. But there was one more thing she had to do. She had to be Celaena just one more time before she could put that part of her life behind her. Just one more time. She repeated this to herself like a mantra as she walked up the stoop to the keep once more. Just one more time. She rang the secret bell. Just one more time. She braced herself to see the men who had made her adolescence hell. Just one more time. The door swung open. Just one more time.</p><p>Celaena stormed into the keep, a flurry of fury and grief.</p><p>"What the rutting hell happened," she demanded, spinning in a circle to stare down each and every person in the room. Clarisse. Lysandra. Tern. Harding. Mullin. Celaena drew a dagger and they all took a step back. No matter the swagger they projected, they were all scared of Adarlan's Assassin. None of them answered. "Start talking now," she hissed, baring her teeth.</p><p>There was silence for a long moment before Tern stepped up. "Not unless you do the same."</p><p>Aedion let out a growl. Celaena didn't let herself notice what Rowan did. She ignored them both. She was Celaena right now.</p><p>"Never mind the guard dogs," Celaena said, bringing the three assassins' attention back to her. "Explain yourselves."</p><p>Lysandra let out a sob from behind Tern's broad figure. Celaena was ready to give her an oscar.</p><p>"Why are those two whoring pieces of trash in this house?" Celaena drawled.</p><p>Tern looked just about ready to murder her. "Because Lysandra was the one who woke up screaming next to his body."</p><p>They played this game for another couple of minutes. Celaena and Lysandra kept the charade up phenomenally as Tern, Harding, and Mullin tried to catch Celaena with more information then she should have. Eventually, they caved and took her to the body.</p><p>"If either of them tries to run, gut them," she ordered Aedion ruthlessly, nodding her head towards Clarisse and Lysandra, and Tern led her from the room.</p><p>They stopped in Arobynn's bedroom, the scene of the crime. The bed was soaked through with blood, red stains coating the floorboards, splattered across the wall. Celaena's stomach turned. Lysandra hadn't let him go quickly, it seemed.</p><p>"How?" She demanded, forcing her tone of anger. Inside, she was a mess. Why was she mourning this man? SHe didn't have a chance to answer herself, probably wouldn't have been able to anyway.</p><p>"Someone sliced his throat open and let him choke to death on his own blood."</p><p>Celaena felt like she was going to vomit. But she had a role to play. "Footprints," she choked out, pointing to the boot print in the blood.</p><p>"Big. Probably male," Tern grunted. He glanced at her slender converse-clad feet, before turning his eyes to Rowan's sneakers where he was standing stoically behind her. Of course, the size was different. Chaol had made sure of that when he had left them last night.</p><p>After completing her ruse of inspecting the room, Celaena was queasy. But she couldn't go home just yet. They took her to see the body quickly before leading her back downstairs, sending questioningly looks her way the whole time.</p><p>Celaena halted on the stairwell. "Why don't you just ask me already? Why don't you ask me where I was last night?"</p><p>"We know where you were. Our eyes saw you at home all night. You were on the roof of your apartment building, and then you went to bed," Harding said from where he had stopped on the step above hers.</p><p>Just like she had planned. But they didn't need to know that. "Are you telling me this because you'd like me to hunt down your little eyes and blind them?" Celaena sang. "Because after I sort out this mess, that's exactly what I plan to do."</p><p>Mullin rubbed his temples and the three assassins traded looks. "You don't touch our men, and we won't touch yours."</p><p>"I don't make bargains with piece-of-shit, second-rate assassins," Celaena informed them sweetly.</p><p>She whirled on her front foot before stalking down the stairwell and into the living room, only to come face to face with a new guest.</p><p>"Well, well, well. That was good timing," she said, sending a smirk at the Master of the Bank.</p><p>He turned green and shrank back into a seat as he took in the blood-covered Lysandra, but relaxed visibly as he noticed Celaena. They were all scattered about the living room, Rowan and Aedion flanking Celaena.</p><p>The Master of the Bank started giving them his condolences, quivering with fear, and Celaena zoned out. She could feel Rowan's pine green eyes boring into her back. He stepped closer, almost touching her, but she shied out of his reach. He kept his eyes on her, but she turned back to the Master.</p><p>He had opened the sealed envelope and was about to read the will. This was the moment Celaena had been waiting for all fucking day. He droned on, listing all of Arobynn's assets. And then, finally, he reached the exciting part.</p><p>"It is my will that the sole beneficiary of all my fortune, assets, and holdings should be my heir, Celaena Sardothien," the Master of the Bank read. His words echoed through the room for one tense heartbeat before Clarisse flew out of her chair.</p><p>"What?" Clarisse hissed.</p><p>"Bullshit," Aedion cried.</p><p>"Say that again," Celaena breathed.</p><p>"Everything-- all of it, is left to you. Well, except for... this sum to Madam Clarisse, to settle his debts."</p><p>Yes. It had worked. She had gotten the money. She had won. She had enough money to re-start the Orynth Times.</p>
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<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Chapter 28</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rowan's head was still spinning after the events from the beginning of the week. After the big reveal, Aelin had kicked Lysandra and Clarisse out of the house before selling the guild to Tern, and Mulling, and Harding. Aedion and Rowan had dragged her back home, Aedion slowly coaxing answers out of her. Rowan had known that he wouldn't be able to get her to explain. She would have just clammed up. But Aedion had gotten her to confess to scheming her way into the fortune. She explained how she had snuck into the bank and forged the new will. Rowan was amazed. Not that he would tell Aelin that. Her ego was inflated enough. Though she had been a lot quieter in the last week.</p><p>Aedion had certainly noticed, but he had been wise enough not to ask. Nevertheless, he found out. Rowan found himself desperate for someone to talk to about everything, so one night while Aelin was off at Lysandra's, he had explained everything to him. Aedion ended up listening attentively, not interrupting. Rowan was actually shocked that he hadn't gotten punched by the end of his story. He would have deserved it. Instead, Aedion had given him some advice.</p><p>"She really likes you. Maybe even loves. That's why she's hurting so bad, why she feels so betrayed," he had said.</p><p>Rowan had cut in with, "Not helping."</p><p>Aedion had just continued, ignoring Rowan. "But that is also why she will be desperate to forgive you. She doesn't want to hate you, doesn't want for you to hate her either, for that matter. So just wait for the right time, and apologize. You'll figure out everything else from there."</p><p>Rowan and Aedion had gotten much closer the rest of the week, talking to each other a lot, becoming good friends. Rowan knew Aelin had noticed, but she hadn't brought it up. Or anything. She had barely spoken to him all week. He tried desperately to read her emotions, to find a good time to apologize, but she kept her face a mask of indifference, infuriating him to no end. She had been stoic this entire time. He hadn't seen her shed a single tear.</p><p>That was how Rowan found himself eating breakfast in the living room, discussing the latest basketball game with Aedion. Aelin walked in and silently sat down on the couch next to Aedion, shoveling her plate of eggs into her mouth. Rowan stopped talking, turning back to his own breakfast. Aedion kept glancing between the two of them, but no one said a word.</p><p>The sound of the doorbell resounded through the house, saving Rowan from the awkward silence. One glance at Aedion told Rowan that he was just as grateful for the escape. Aelin jolted out of her seat.</p><p>"I'll get it," she volunteered with an attitude much too excited for opening the door. She ran across the room and threw open the door without checking who it was. Rowan wished she would have slightly more regard for her safety. They had certainly made several enemies in the past few weeks.</p><p>But, luckily for all of them, it was just Lysandra. She was wearing high waisted acid-washed jeans and a red sweatshirt, an outfit much too casual for her to have come from work. She had most likely been avoiding Clarisse for the past week. Rowan didn't blame her. The woman had been in an awful mood since she had been robbed of her money. Though she didn't know she was robbed. And she would hopefully never learn that.</p><p>"Oh, Lysandra! You came!" Aelin said, her melodic voice bringing Rowan back to the situation at hand. Aelin stepped to the side and ushered Lysandra into the room. She obliged, sinking into the leather armchair across from Rowan. Aelin followed her and sank back down into her seat on the couch next to Aedion.</p><p>"Well, you texted! And it's not like I had much else to do this week. The entire underworld is in complete upheaval," Lysandra exclaims, throwing her hands up.</p><p>"Yeah... Sorry about that," Aelin apologizes, not looking even remotely sorry about the chaos she had caused.</p><p>Lysandra lets out a dry laugh. "Don't be. I haven't had to work at all." They all knew what kind of work she was talking about. No one really knew what to say to that, so they all sat there in tense silence for a heartbeat before Lysandra attempted to restart the conversation. "So, I assume there was a reason for you calling me here?"</p><p>Aelin's eyes widened and she smacked herself on the forehead with her palm. "Right! Of course! I completely forgot! Give me one second." That was all Aelin said before scurrying off into the bedroom to fish around for something.</p><p>That was another thing that had been awkward. There was nowhere else for Rowan to sleep, so they had continued to share a bed. Rowan had tried several times to bring up the other night, but she had completely ignored him each time. Eventually, he gave up on that. But, he really missed her. So he started talking about other things, talking about his day, telling childhood stories, asking her questions. She always answered in clipped sentences, but Rowan noticed the way her lips quirked up, the slight humor in her voice. Though, that may have been because he had been overanalyzing her every word....... and he often found himself staring at her lips. But that was irrelevant.</p><p>Lysandra and Aedion started a polite conversation, swapping embarrassing stories about Aelin. Rowan didn't join in, just sat there quietly, but they didn't notice. In fact, they seemed perfectly content talking just the two of them. And Rowan didn't miss the appreciative look Aedion had not so subtly given to Lysandra. Or the one she threw back.</p><p>Aelin came back into the room bearing a sealed envelope. "I found it," she sang proudly. She tossed it into Lysandra's lap before plopping back down on the couch. "Open it."</p><p>Lysandra picks up the envelope and inspects it. Rowan heard her breath hitch as she flipped it over. He craned his neck and leaned forward to get a closer look. He couldn't make out the text, but he got a glance of the stamp. It was Clarisse's emblem.</p><p>"I-is it?" Lysandra choked out, her voice thick with emotion.</p><p>"Just open it, Lys," Aelin prompted.</p><p>She complied, tearing open the top case and pulling out a slip of paper. She unfolded it with trembling fingers, her eyes scanning the page frantically. Tears started streaming down the cheeks, and she placed the letter into her lap, looking up at Aelin.</p><p>"W-what is this?" she asked through tears.</p><p>"All of your debts are paid off. You are officially a free woman."</p><p>Lysandra let out her first sob, the situation finally becoming real to her. Rowan couldn't fight the smile that took over his face. Aelin stood up and took Lysandra's hand in her own, squeezing tightly. She hadn't told Rowan she was going to do this, but that didn't surprise him. Even if she wasn't normally so secretive about her plans, she hadn't spoken to him in a week. He didn't blame her, he definitely deserved this silent treatment, but if only she would let him explain. He had acted terrible and rejected her, but that didn't stop His heart from aching every time he looked at her. It took considerable effort not to just grab her face and kiss her. Well, it always had, but even more now. It would be so much easier than trying to get her to talk to him, but he knew it wasn't a good way to bring it up. He needed to handle this like an adult.</p><p>He was brought back to the present as Lysandra leaped out of her plush armchair and threw her arms around Aelin. "You shouldn't have," she said, her voice muffled by Aelin's shoulder.</p><p>Rowan was honestly surprised she had waited so long. He knew she had wanted to at least since Rowan had shown up. It was shocking that she had held back from killing Clarisse. That, she would have no qualms about.</p><p>"No. I should have done it a long time ago. You are one of--" Aelin threw Rowan a furtive glance over Lysandra's slender shoulders, one he was sure he was the only one who saw. "You are my best friend, Lys. You deserve this." Rowan felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. Best friend. A role he had filled for the past year of her life. Replaced, all because of his stupid, stupid mistake. He kept his face completely neutral, not letting his hurt show. He didn't want to ruin this moment. Lysandra was free. He should be happy.</p><p>"Stop, you're going to make me ruin my make-up," Lysandra cooed, wiping furiously at her eyes.</p><p>Rowan stood abruptly. "I need some fresh air. I'm going to go on a run. Congratulations, Lysandra," he said, grabbing his phone and keys off the counter before scampering out of the door. He wasn't lying. He was going to go on a walk to clear his head. And then he would go back home and force Aelin to listen to him.</p>
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<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Chapter 29</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After Rowan left so abruptly, Lysandra dragged Aelin into the kitchen to talk to her privately. They had visited each other repeatedly over the last week, so she was all caught up on the drama. Somehow, Aelin had been able to explain what had happened with bursting into tears.</p><p>"Best friend?" Lysandra hissed furiously, keenly aware of Aedion's presence in the next room over. Aelin just shrugged. "Aelin, I love you, but Rowan is your best friend. This fight doesn't change that! Just talk to him! You miss him!" Lysandra pleaded. She had been trying to knock sense into Aelin all week, but she wasn't having any of it. Aelin had decided how she was going to handle the situation. This was the way with the least pain. She would get over it, and never have to face it again. Healthy and mature, obviously.</p><p>"Lys, you know how I feel about this. Please just drop it!" Aelin begged. Lysandra eventually gave in and said her goodbyes.</p><p>Aelin let out a groan as she collapsed onto the plush couch, reclining down on top of Aedion. He grunted and pushed her feet out of his face, lifting into a sitting position. They chatted for a few minutes, both waiting to see whether Rowan would be out for a long run. They, well, Aelin, had decided that she needed a break and they wouldn't discuss business until they went to Orynth. So there wasn't much to talk about, since there was no way she was bringing up the Rowan situation when she knew for a fact the two of them had been talking all week. They were actually acting civil and nice to each other. At some point, she might have cared. Might have been happy. But not now. Because she didn't care about anything that happened to Rowan. Not at all. But Aedion seemed to have other plans.</p><p>"So, are we going to talk about it?" he pried, giving up the ruse of small talk.</p><p>"It's none of your business," she all but growled. They both knew what he was talking about without him having to say it.</p><p>"I know, I know......." he said, putting his hands up in defense. Aelin sighed in relief. But then he continued. "It's just, you're practically my sister, and I can read your moods. You've been so much sadder since the incident. I really think you need to talk to Rowan," he suggested, grabbing Aelin's hand and pulling it to his chest.</p><p>"He has already made his thoughts very clear."</p><p>"Wel, I've been talking to him and--" Aelin squeezed his hand with a bone-breaking pressure.</p><p>"What. Did. He. Tell. You," she snarled. "I-I mean that's cool. Did he say anything interesting?" she shrugged excessively, leaning back and molding her face into a neutral expression.</p><p>Aedion snorted but didn't comment. "It's not my place to say. Just... talk to him," he said, quite unhelpfully in Aelin's opinion. Gods, being in love was a pain. She sighed and stood up, ignoring his advice. But Aelin was going to take it. Because he was right. She had been so miserable since they stopped talking. She had started having nightmares again, flashbacks to Endovier, to Sam, to Nehemia, to her parents. And she couldn't curl up into his arms like usual. Fuck, she missed him so much it physically hurt. But she had fucked it up. She had acted on her feelings. Which, regardless of whether or not he did, he did not want to return. And she had been too damn scared and stubborn to confront him about it. Her head was spinning about the different ways she could start apologizing for being a bitch and ignoring him. And then started forming plans for how she could yell at him for breaking her heart. Rutting hell this was hopeless.</p><p>She started walking into her bedroom, preparing for an afternoon of moping, reading, and self-pity. And maybe another 9876545678909876 drafts of what she should say to Rowan. Aelin stripped off her cream sweater and tossed it to the side in anticipation of the warm comforter, leaving her in an oversized green t-shirt and leggings. </p><p>"Oh, and Aelin? I can guess how you feel about him, and I know how he feels about you, but if you aren't ready for anything after everything that has happened, you know that's okay, right? You need your best friend back. No matter what."</p><p>Aelin's heart warmed at his words. At how he saw straight through the Lysandra best friend bullshit. Or was she just a terrible liar? Aelin pushed the thought away, that would open up a whole new rabbit hole of worries.</p><p>"Thanks, Aed. I love you, you know?" she said, walking back to the couch. She sat down next to Aedion and turned to face him, staring down his identical Ashryver eyes.</p><p>"I love you too, Ace," he said, pulling her into a chest-crushing hug. She settled into the warmth of his familiar embrace, her one constant who had been there since the beginning. The soft fabric of his Terresan High sweatshirt rubbed against her bare skin, and she nestled herself deeper into his arms, his long blond hair tickling her nose. </p><p>Eventually, she pulled back. "Okay, enough mushiness. It will rot my brain, and I have a reputation to protect. NBA2K?" she suggested, snatching the TV remote off of the coffee table.</p><p>"Oh, you are on! Prepare to get your ass beat!" Aedion challenged, smirking as he walked across the room and grabbed the PS4 controllers from the basket on top of the console.</p><p>"Haha, bold words! You are going down!" she declared, scooching to the edge of her seat. This was a much better way to spend her afternoon.</p>
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<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Chapter 30</h2></a>
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    <p>Rowan slipped off his running shoes at the front door and made his way into the bedroom, stripping off his sweaty gray shirt. He pushed open the wooden door with his bare foot and strode across the room to the bathroom, stopping in the closet to grab a change of clothes and discard his t-shirt. Just as he reached for the doorknob, it swung open to reveal Aelin with a towel wrapped around her wet hair. Rowan's breath hitched as he took in what she was wearing. A nightgown. For the first time since the fight. And not just any nightgown. A metallic gold nightgown, made almost entirely of lace, with a low neckline and a very short hem. Rowan's jaw dropped and he couldn't seem to force any words out. </p><p>"Close your mouth. You are going to catch flies," she quipped. She couldn't deny that she liked his reaction. A lot. Aelin leaned over, exposing cleavage that Rowan tried very hard not to look at, and slowly closed his mouth before patting his cheek gently. She felt his breath quicken as she brought her face close to his, and she couldn't stop her heart from racing. "Can we talk?" she breathed, taking a large step back. She wasn't complaining about the direction their interaction was going, and neither was Rowan if the new tightness in his sweatpants was any indication, but it would probably be better for both of them if they talked before doing anything.</p><p>"Y-yes. That's a good um a good idea," Rowan choked out, masking his disappointment. She was right though, they needed to talk. This was the opportunity he had been waiting for all week. "Just um..... Can you please put a robe on? I don't think I will be able to focus with you dressed like that," he admitted. He was going to be completely honest during this conversation, no matter how brutal. Lies and secrets were what had gotten them into this mess in the first place. </p><p>Aelin let out a nervous laugh, playing anxiously with her long blond hair. "You're one to talk mister walks-around-shirtless-torturing-me-by-exposing-his-rock-hard-abs Whitethorn," she teased. He didn't say anything, and Aelin started to hyperventilate. Was it too soon? She just called him hot. Shit. They were fighting. They hadn't made up. Shit. What if he rejected her again? She looked everywhere but his face, eyes darting wildly around the room. When he stayed silent for another couple seconds, she gave up and looked at him, only to find his eyes attached to her dress. She couldn't stop the laugh that bubbled out of her mouth. "Maybe the robe is a good idea," she agreed, stepping back inside the bathroom to grab it off the hook. </p><p>"Wait, Aelin?" he called out, letting out a sigh of relief as she disappeared from view. </p><p>"Yes?" she responded, peeking her head out.</p><p>"Um, can I maybe take a shower first? I'm still really sweaty and gross from my run," he rushed out, flushing as red as Manon's cloak. Gods, he was acting like a fumbling teenager. What was she doing to him?</p><p>Aelin chuckled. "Of course. I'll be waiting," she said tightly, the taunting ease they had fallen back into gone. She was freaking out. She pulled her satin silver robe tightly around herself before rushing out of the bathroom, leaving the door open for him. He slipped in and she waited until she heard the shower running before plopping down onto the bed and groaning into her silky pillow. Gods, what was happening. They went from completely ignoring each other to flirting shamelessly. This was not going as she had planned. At all. Not a single one of her scripts had involved anything that had just happened. She dragged herself into a sitting position, scooching her body so that she was leaning against the carved headboard. She brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms tightly around herself. </p><p>Meanwhile, Rowan was rushing through his shower. Not only were his hands flying around the tub as he washed, but his mind was racing a mile a minute. This was not how he pictured them making up. He had figured he would tell her his well-rehearsed apology, complete with getting on his knees to beg for her forgiveness. But that gods-damned nightgown had thrown a wrench in his plans. Just getting through this conversation was going to be a struggle. Of course, he would completely accept just being friends with her. He knew she had felt the same a week ago, but after how he had acted, he completely understood if she didn't see him that way. Or hated him entirely. But he loved her. And he needed her in his life. Rowan washed all of the soap off of himself before scrubbing himself dry and haphazardly throwing on a fresh pair of sweatpants. </p><p>By the time Rowan emerged from the bathroom, Aelin had worked herself through her meltdown and was sprawled on the bed reading her latest book. He sprinted from the door and flopped down onto his stomach next to her, burying his face in the poofy bedspread. Aelin sniggered at his antics, tugging his arm until he sat up. He complied, crossing his legs and shifting his body to face her. She sat up as well, leaning against the headboard for support. </p><p>"I just want to start by saying I'm sorry."</p><p>"I'm so, so, so, so sorry!"</p><p>They both blurted out their apologies at the same time. They burst out laughing, and Rowan's heart warmed at the pure joy gracing Aelin's face. He marveled in the fact that he had partially caused that. He missed making her happy. Gods, he was so in love.    </p><p>"You go first," Rowan suggested. He would let her say her part before professing his love for her. He didn't want to read the room wrong. </p><p>"Okay," Aelin agreed, taking a deep breath to prepare herself. "I fucked up. I shouldn't have tried to kiss you. Either time. Yes, I remember that night at the bar. I also probably shouldn't have lied about that....."</p><p>Rowan's heart sank at her words. She regretted it. She didn't feel the same. He felt so stupid! But then Aelin continued. </p><p>"Um, I shouldn't have risked our friendship like that. I mean, I did really want to kiss you. Like, all the time. But I should have thought about whether you wanted to before I did. I completely ruined everything and--"</p><p>Rowan couldn't let her keep talking. "I'm just going to stop you right there. I'm the one that should be apologizing. I fucking rejected you and was an idiot and--"</p><p>"No! You were just telling me how you felt! Which is totally okay! You don't feel the same and I just hope that we can still be--"</p><p>"Aelin, let me finish! I was an idiot and got scared and ran away. I really wanted to kiss you too. I feel the same as you. Or, I assume I do. You've never really explicitly told me how you feel, but based on the fact that you tried to kiss me I think it's probably pretty similar to how I feel--" Rowan's rambling was cut off as Aelin leaned in and pressed her lips against his. </p><p>He kissed her back, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her into his lap. The kiss completed them. It was the answer to the question they had both been asking their entire life. Aelin parted her lips and deepened the kiss. </p><p>"I love you," she breathed onto his lips. Rowan's heart filled so much he thought he might explode. He pulls her even closer to him, kissing her deeply.</p><p>"I love you, too, Fireheart," he said with a hoarse voice, pulling back to look her in the eyes. The reverence and care in his face erased any lingering doubt from Aelin's heart. At that moment she knew without a doubt that she would always be home in his arms.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And that's a wrap! The last chapter completed! Also yes, I did steal several lines from the kiss description from the book. Shhh. also...... i may write a shorter version of the soulmate au but i have like no time anymore so it likely won’t happen. i’m sorry!</p>
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